My newest manuscript is unfolding moment by moment. I ony hope I have the skill to capture those moments and share them. I wrote this in my recent sojourn into Ohio, and it seems to ALMOST touch the reality of that particular moment, so I figured I would share it here. I hope it will help convince the masses that whatever my end product it will be worth the read.
“At that moment, I realized that I was actually LIVING a Hemingwayish novel. I also realized that I was using my glasses like an old man.”
Picnic looked up. Something had shifted. He felt it in the very center of his being. It was more than the obvious release of tension for everyone in the room, though that was part of it. It was also more than the influence of the salad of mind altering substances he had been exploring lately … though that too was part of it. It was more like he had suddenly left a dark smokey bar to find a brilliant scenic vista from a fantasy world. Blinding at first, but as the eyes adjusted focus became clearer and clearer, and with it both amazement and understanding. The back-up glasses he was now wearing were also playing a role, somehow acting as a filtering lens bringing it all into clarity.
Maybe he was just very stoned. Downright tripping. But he had explored altered consciousness enough throughout his life to sense that … this time … it was so much more than that. He knew without doubt that something significant was about to happen. It was as if his awareness was preparing to step into a whole new level. For the first time a quite a while, Picnic was truly excited for what was to come.
He looked about, taking in the details of the room around him. Sleeping forms, clothing scattered about, a room that was no stranger to the frenzy of high energy people. Dream Girl was a strung bow at full pull … just trying to find her target. The tension this time was far more excitement than stress. Finally! That too was adding to the sense of pending transformation. The Cowboy was coming to get her. Was she ready for him yet? This room, home for the last week, had a definite lived in look, with an atmosphere that was an odd mixture of hope and desperation. Son of Dream Girl and Girlfriend were limb entangled in peaceful slumber, while one of the Lost Boys was deciding what to do with himself for the moment.
Just as it was decided that Picnic, Dream Girl and Lost Boy were going to the store, the peaceful dreamers woke up … and so did the tension again. Healing would be long for this family, but his current level of awareness told Picnic that it WOULD happen. Plans shifted a little, and soon Picnic and Dream Girl were on their way to a little of her favorite stress relief. As soon as they stepped out of the hotel, Picnic’s awareness shifted again, almost splitting. Yet he felt no disorientation this time. The last time he found himself this open eyed he could barely walk a straight line.
“I wish I had a way to record all this!” Picnic thought to himself. The writer in him was sure that if he could remember all the details he was now experiencing he could convert a simple few hours into a transcendental novel. The geekier side could totally envision them as an award winning independent movie that would alter lives. However the only truth that really mattered is that for this moment, Picnic had an understanding of What Is that went far beyond words, or even coherent thought. He simply got it. And wished that he cold keep it long enough to even have a remote chance of expressing it with that limited tool called words.
He was creator and observer all at once; the wandering statue; the frozen stream. He was a well flavored stew of emotions, though no specific spice overwhelmed another … all were needed to make it a nutritious meal for the soul. He was here and not here, everywhere and nowhere. Yet he was also simply Picnic, walking along the sparkling path that Dream Girl always left as a wake in her passage. Together they walked the short walk to Target; together they glided through a new doorway to What If.
“It’s really going to get interesting now …” Picnic laughed to himself as he picked up his pace to try to catch up to Dream Girl.