Another reason to watch what you eat

You there. Yeah you! The one on two legs. You know I made this all right? Everything here … I created it. And guess what. It only took me a couple of days. But don’t worry, of all the things I made, you are my favorite. As a matter of fact, I like you so much that I am going to put you in charge of this garden here. You get to name everything and show em all whose boss … technically I’m the boss … but you are my head gardener so you at least get to name them all. And do what you want with them. Except that fruit there. That one is not yours to touch. It’s all mine. But I will put it here to tempt you anyway, because I am that kind of guy.

An apple a day will keep self-important megalomaniacs away.

Oh by the way don’t bother questioning me, or anything for that matter. I know all, no need for you to be bothered with pesky KNOWLEDGE. That’s what the fruit that I am dangling before you but you cant have is for. No worries. You can eat THIS fruit instead. It will make sure you have a LOOOOOONG life as my head gardener, filled with blessed ignorance.

What’s that?You are a bit lonely with that long ignorant life of yours? Lording it over animals and such not doing it for you? I suppose I can give you a companion. Well gosh darn-it I went and left my mighty tools of creation behind. I AM all powerful … I mean I created this whole shebang without any effort after all, but I will need to borrow your rib so I can make your companion. I will make your companion different from you, so you can do things with each other that will give you more companions … but don’t do those things because they are naughty. To make sure you don’t do them, I will even make them extremely pleasurable to do.

Hey wait a sec there. What is your companion doing there with the fruit that I like to tease you with? Eating it? No doubt this is the doing of my arch nemesis (who I also created by the way). Dude always wants to harsh my mellow by letting my creations actually have a clue. Did I forget to tell you that knowledge is BAD. Why else would I tease you with it but ask you not to partake in it? That did it. You are no longer my favorite, because the companion I made out of your rib doesn’t want to play by my rules. Both of you get out of my garden now. But make sure you still love me!!!

OK, OK, I’ll give you guys a second chance. But you are no longer welcome in my garden. You can have the rest of the stuff I created. But since it is so big (much bigger than my garden), you will probably need help. You will need more companions to help control all of my cool stuff. So I will let you two do those bad things together to make more of you guys … as long as you get a marriage license, and have a church wedding. You don’t know what those are? No worries, you will figure it out eventually. Go nuts folks. But make sure you don’t do those things with your other companions because that is bad. So go forth and multiply, but only with each other. And those other companions … lets call them your children, should do the same … but not with each other, or you. Now go populate the earth!! You are the only ones around? Minor detail. Do as I say! This is the price of eating that fruit!

Makes perfect sense to me.