Blessed are the holey clothes

I have never been a fashion plate.

This of course would come as no surprise to anyone who has actually met me. To me, clothes serve one purpose. To protect one from the elements. So my ideal clothing is comfortable and sturdy. Comfortable for obvious reasons. Sturdy though? Basically they need to both be able to take a beating, and to last for a loooooooooong time.

I detest shopping. But the type of shopping I dread the most is clothes shopping. I do not recall the last time I actually bought clothes for myself simply for the need to buy clothes. I would rather wear something to shreds than shop for new clothes.

Well except for those times when buying new clothes was easier than doing laundry.

""As a result, generally the only time I get new clothes is when someone decides to buy them for me, or I am threatened with bodily harm. Like when I was in the wedding party of a friend. I had to actually buy a suit! Talk about ordeals! And the worst thing was the marriage did not even last nine months. All that trauma for nothing!

Recently, though it has become apparent that my huge collection of clothing that I still retain because I never throw anything out when it comes to clothes is now bordering on positively indecent. Especially the warm weather clothes. Granted I rarely leave my cave these days, but on those occasions I do(and it does seem to happen more in the warm weather) I guess it would be wise not to scare the public with unexpected glimpses of my not so Herculean physique.

It seemed I had to give in and actually buy some new clothes!

Not to worry. I had the perfect plan for such a heinous situation. I went crying to my mommy.

Mom, being the perfectionist she is had no problem with getting me some clothes to replace the in her eyes disgusting rags I usually wore. So she got out her trusty catalog and ordered me a whole new summer wardrobe. Granted they were not the colors I would necessarily have chosen for myself, but beggars can’t be choosers.

So even I have to laugh as I sit here in my most comfortable hole ridden  t-shirt that has questionable value even as a protection from the elements.

What can I say. Some habits are just hard to give up.