For the last couple of months I have had every excuse in the book (well … not MY book) to not work on my books. Ironic as that might be. Some of the excuses might actually have a certain amount of legitimacy to them, such as helping my mother deal with my father’s quick decline into world of Alzheimer’s and the economic rape that is a result of that. But it was more than just that. I lost my muse. She also seemed to take my creativity, my sense of purpose, and frankly my will power with her. Lately it has been all I can do to get out of bed let alone write a masterpiece. Those who occasionally have the misfortune to bump into one of my blogs may have noticed the slower pace (when not actually stopped) of the recent months.
Now due to several factors (not least shame that my sister who started HER book well after me has now flown past me haha) has renewed the need to continue. My muse is still in hiding, my creativity is at the very least a tease, my sense of purpose is still laughing at me, and my will power needs some strong coffee, but my stubbornness has shouted “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!”
So for the last couple of days I reread what I have already written in an attempt to remember if I actually know where my stories are going, and today I whipped out (or more accurately ripped out), about 3100 words … a chapter and actually know where I might be going with the next chapter. I even enjoyed what I wrote … enough to share a little excerpt here. I hope it tantalizes nicely!
There is something refreshing about a new coat of snow. It covers over all the flaws and dirtiness of yesterday, almost wiping away the past as if it had never been. Or so it seemed to Kyle as he woke up that morning and looked out his window. It had apparently snowed all night, and as of yet the pristine coating of snow was not marred by footsteps or the collected grunge of modern life. It was quite pretty out there, as if a new sheet of paper had been placed for the new day to paint its mark. Kyle found that his view of the world had subtly shifted since that last intense dream. Everything took on an added dimension; as if his eyes had grown some new filter. He seemed to find an overlay of otherness to everything he viewed, altering not only how he saw things, but how he interpreted them as well.
Something had changed within him. Something indefinable yet it was definitely there. What he had experienced in that dream had directly done something to him, even if he could not really explain what. He just knew it to be true. It filled Kyle with both a sense of awe and … disquiet. The worse part is he could not discuss it with anyone without them thinking he was crazy, or just overly imaginative. It mostly seemed to stem from the last part of the dream. The point when the creatures had shifted in his gaze, becoming other than what his eyes saw. Somehow the power of the moment had altered him, enhancing his senses in someway. Kyle’s instincts told him that it was in some way related to that charm that he had drawn a picture of, though he again could not explain why. All he new is that the world was different now.
Everything Kyle looked at had almost an aura … though it was not quite that. He had seen infrared images before, and this new vision had that aspect about it. It was not like he suddenly saw everything in shades of orange and yellow, more like a ghost image over the top of what was “really” there. He could tune it out if he wanted to, but the overlay was always there. Again he knew what he was seeing was not a measure of heat, but of something else. He was tempted to describe it as a measure of good and evil, but that was not quite it. Because this subtle sheen was over anything he beheld, though it was definitely strongest in humans. If Kyle did not know the idea was from movies, he would swear he was seeing the Force in things … both the light side and the dark side. It was both cool, and very distracting.
