March 26, 1997. The sinful masses were going about their sinful business. The curious and the learnéd had their telescopes out. The devout prepared the cool aid. And the Comet Hale-Bopp did a fly by. The alien space ship on board was all set to wipe out our naughty planet and start fresh. The cool aid loving devout of course would be able to hitch a ride to the next galaxy and avoid the mess.
I was all set to get the telescope out, but it was cloudy that day so I just went to bed.
December 31, 1999. The sinful masses were attending their sinful parties, celebrating the pending Apocalypse. The devout got out their candles, hunkered down in their bunkers, and prayed. Digital clocks everywhere prepared to hit the year 2000, raining down destruction as they caused all electronic devices to implode, explode, fall out of the sky, go haywire, and whole list of other unpleasant electronic demises.
Not being a fan of New Year’s Eve, I went to bed early.
May 21, 2011. The sinful and oblivious masses were going about there sinful and oblivious business. The A list devoted packed their bags. The B list devoted did some last minute hardcore praying. And those not on the list at all got a good seat for the show.
I actually had some work that night so I slept all day.
I am starting to sense a pattern here.
Granted I can’t be sure that the last one did not go as planned. There is a a solid theory going around that the chosen few did in fact actually get into the club of clubs, and the rest of us just did not make the cut. My understanding is that the club is seriously exclusive and it is really difficult to get on the A list. I knew I wasn’t getting in. No way I was getting past the Divine Bouncer, being raised Jewish and all.
So I am thinking that I really need to stop sleeping through the end of the world.
Good thing I have a few more chances to attend. Guess I will put em on the calendar this time!