Does anyone speak cat?

One of the ironies of me creating a blog called The Ninja Cat Journals is that I am not really a cat person. Sure I get along with them ok, but I like my cat free space too. It has been my experience that the more you do not want to be catted, like for instance if you are allergic to them, the more the cats will chase you down.

Lately our pal Lucky has decided she can not get enough attention from me. I have a feeling that maybe she misses Gracie a bit. Not only does she continue to have the amazing knack to show up just when I get down and dirty with book writing, but she comes charging to greet me as soon as I enter her current domain (which is often the kitchen).

For example I walked into the kitchen a little while ago. Lucky was sitting on one of her favorite perches. Basically, weather permitting, we set a stool by the open back door so she can get some sun and soak in the fresh air. I walk into the kitchen today and she leaps off her chair running to me with a very distinct "Meow!" Now I never did master cat. I took years of spanish and can barely speak that. So I have little chance at cat. Maybe it is just her accent.


She does her demanding leg rubbing act, making it difficult for me to walk. I try picking her up, thinking that is what she wants. She bats my chin with her head, says "Meow!" again, and then falls over in her "Put me down!" pose.

I guess that was not it.

I walk over to the  kitchen table, to have a look at the newspaper. She immediately jumps on the paper, rubbing against me and again demandingly saying "Meow!". So I try scratching her head. She swats at me and says a quite definitive "Meow!"

I walk downstairs and I hear her elephant gallop (when the cats are not using their Ninja stealth skills they can be quite loud) following me down. She does the whole leg rubbing thing again with another healthy "Meow!" or two for good measure. I attempt a scratch again. Apparently I get it right this time, because she now leaves seemingly content.

Does anyone know a good cat translator?