Epic battle

Yesterday was the 4th of July.

What better way to celebrate the 4th then a battle for freedom? In this case freedom for our grill!

Our grill had not been used yet this summer. In the past few years (especially since dad’s ailment) it has not been used much at all. But there are certain days that, by tradition, it must be broken out. Of course the 4th is one of those must grill days. Rain or shine. It had come to our attention that under the cover that protects our grill from the weather was …

The Enemy! The ultimate foe of summer fun. Wasps!! They are even worse than their insidious allies, mosquitos, and ants. At least in their capacity for violence. A colony had set up camp in our grill, and needed to be eradicated at all costs!

I planned out my campaign. Equipment needed: Full Bee Keeper’s outfit, industrial strength Wasp Killer with at least a hundred foot range and a riot shield just to be on the safe side. Equipment available: several year old mostly empty can of Wasp spray with a range of 21 feet.

Off to a good start.

I grab the can and start heading outside to combat the beasties. My 75-year-old, slightly overweight arthritic mother asks: "Do you want me to do it?" Her 45-year-old, mostly functioning, in decent shape son’s answer: "I am pretty sure I can run faster than you mom!"

I get outside and find the right spot to shoot from. On the lawn, below the deck. Perfect. Can get a direct hit and still be able to flee for safety if things go bad. Of course it also happens to be right at the back door and Squeak, who is lying on the deck. I get mom to coax Squeak inside and have her shut the back door. Take careful aim, and shoot!

Blam! Direct hit. Right in the puss of a rather mean looking Guard Wasp. Several drop immediately. Two wasps make a beeline (or is that waspline) directly for me! I do some mad maneuvering and evade their attack.

Two or three hours later, feeling safe to emerge from under the deck of my neighbor two miles down the road (ok maybe I am exaggerating a little here), I get ready for another shot. Take aim. Shoot. And get … nothing! Seems there was only one shot left in the can!

Fortunately the first shot seemed to have done the job. It was just an outpost after all, not the main camp.

Have to admit that was one tasty burger! Of course I may have been tasting the flavor of wasp spray! Definitely a 4th of July victory worthy of note!!