The "Are you done speaking yet?" Workout

It being summer and all, I am a bit late in achieving my goal of looking good in a bikini. But better late than never. As I might have mentioned once or thrice, I am in the process of getting into shape. Technically I am in A shape, but it is not necessarily the shape that I would like to be. It fluctuates between a pear and an upside down pyramid, neither of which exactly puts me in the realm of ‘eye candy’. Not to mention it kind of restricts my ability to perform simple tasks that someone with something resembling a muscle might actually be able to do. The shape I have decided to aim for is something mannish and appealing to the masses of woman who have not been brainwashed by magazines and other media. So basically a set of muscles on a body that probably still has a bit of a gut, but can see toes without having to suck it in.

I know … I aim high!

"hercules"To set me on this path, I have succumbed to infomercials and actually jumped in on one of those look like Hercules in 90 days or less deals. I have already done one workout program, and while I may not look like Hercules in his prime, I might pass as him as he relaxes in a rocking chair at the Mount Olympus rest home. I believe enough in the program that I am actually making it part of my life … and have officially gotten permission to call myself a coach … though I have yet to figure out what to do with my new awe-inspiring credentials. In theory I should be able to help other obtain the bodies of greek gods and goddesses … and maybe make some money in the process (am I selling anyone with my powerful sales skills?)

Despite the  amounts of sweat these workouts have squeezed out of my body on a daily basis for the last couple of months, and meeting new muscles that I don’t remember being in any biology book, I suspect that part of my fitness goals have been reached from an entirely unexpected source. I am thinking of marketing this technique, if I can just come up with a good name for it. It does not require much equipment, mainly you just need someone in your life who is incapable of speaking to you when you are actually in the same room as them. It works best if stairs are involved.

Basically the typical workout is like this … you enter a room where said person is, and maybe exchange a few words. You wait a few moments, to find the conversations is apparently done. You then leave the room, and get to the top of a flight of stairs or two, only to realize that they still have more to say. You go back to the room, and repeat this sequence a few times. In a typical day, you will most likely have walked 10 to 20 miles … mostly on stairs.

Bikinis will be lining up to jump on you in no time!!