A week in a non-life…

photo by Steve Kramer

Characters:

ME <-  a currently not working, bored, unmotivated and my guess slightly depressed man. DAD <- he has Alzheimer’s.
DAD’S COMPANION <- someone who comes in to keep DAD company and allow ME and MOM some freedom of movement. MOM <- a woman who is never satisfied (to say it kindly). 3 NINJA CATS <- you may have met them before. And they will soon have their own site. Definition:

STANDARD ACTIVITY <- ME obsessively playing on the computer by playing games, watching movies or tv shows, FBing, or actually doing something creative (but of doubtful use).

MONDAY

  • Sometime before 7:30 am: ME wakes up (or is woken up by MOM or a NINJA CAT). ME does his morning toiletries. ME take some pills and eats breakfast.
  • 7:30 am: MOM off to work. DAD watches television.
  • 7:30 – 8:00 am: STANDARD ACTIVITY. DAD is content with TV (or sleeping). ME occasionally gets up to check on DAD. ME reminds himself to make that phone call he needs to make. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.
  • 8:00 am: COMPANION arrives. ME greets COMPANION.
  • 8:00 am – 1:30 pm (ish): COMPANION and DAD do companion and dad things (mostly comprised of watching TV and sleeping). 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things. STANDARD ACTIVITY.
  • 11:00 am (ish): ME thinks about exercising. ME eats instead. ME reminds himself to make that phone call he needs to make.
  • 1:30 pm (ish): COMPANION leaves. ME says good-bye. ME checks that DAD is content. DAD sleeps.
  • 1:30 pm (ish) – 5:00 pm (ish): STANDARD ACTIVITY. DAD mostly sleeps. ME occasionally gets up to snack and check on DAD. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.
  • 3:10 pm (ish): DAD wakes up to a commercial. DAD asks ME to find something to watch because there is “nothing but shit on”. ME goes down and pulls up the info screen to show DAD that he is already watching something.
  • 3:20 pm (ish): DAD wakes up to a commercial. DAD asks ME to find something to watch because there is “nothing but shit on”. ME goes down and pulls up the info screen to show DAD that he is already watching something.
  • 3:40 pm (ish): DAD wakes up to a commercial. DAD asks ME to find something to watch because there is “nothing but shit on”. ME goes down and pulls up the info screen to show DAD that he is already watching something.
  • 3:50 pm (ish): DAD wakes up to a commercial. DAD asks ME to find something to watch because there is “nothing but shit on”. ME goes down and pulls up the info screen to show DAD that he is already watching something.
  • 5:00 pm (ish): MOM comes home. MOM complains to ME about something. DAD asks ME to find something to watch because there is “nothing but shit on”. ME goes down and pulls up the info screen to show DAD that he is already watching something. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.
  • 5:00 pm (ish) – 7:30 pm (ish): STANDARD ACTIVITY. Mom does mom stuff (includes cooking dinner). DAD watches TV. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.
  • 7:30 pm (ish): Dinner. DAD barely eats. ME takes another pill. ME curses himself for not making the phone call he needs to make.
  • 7:30 pm (ish) – 3:00 am (ish): STANDARD ACTIVITY. MOM and DAD sleep in front of the TV. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.
  • 11:00 pm (ish): MOM and DAD go to bed.
  • 3:00 am (ish): ME decides that he should probably actually sleep sometime.

TUESDAY

  • See MONDAY.

WEDNESDAY

  • See MONDAY.
  • 7:30 – 8:00 am: ME puts the garbage out. DAD is content with TV (or sleeping). ME occasionally gets up to check on DAD. ME reminds himself to make that phone call he needs to make. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things.

THURSDAY

  • See MONDAY.
  • 1:00 pm (ish): ME makes the phone call he needs to make. They are not there.

FRIDAY

  • See MONDAY.

WEEKEND

  • Wake up time – bed time: STANDARD ACTIVITY. MOM does mom stuff. DAD sleeps and watches TV. 3 NINJA CATS do ninja cat things. At some point laundry is done.

Ah what an exciting life I lead.

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