It is truly amazing how technology has changed the face of human interaction! I mean think about. Once upon a time when we (WE = I but it makes me feel better to say we so I will say we) wanted to meet someone new; when a guy was thinking he was all that and had his eyes set on that hottie over there, he would walk ( you know place one foot in front of the other) over to her and say an amazingly clever and original line like:
“Haven’t we met someplace before?”
Seems to work differently now.
Nowadays, we sit there on our exponentially expanding arses, browsing through catalogs of humanity on a computer screen. If we shift our legs it is because we have a cramp from sitting in the same position for so long.
I (sadly WE won’t work anymore) am once again getting a fix on my current addiction, and someone actually contacts me first. Now the trend seems to be that any remotely attractive woman (i.e. apparently alive) will most likely have to sift through the thousands of contact attempts made by every guy on the specific app in question, in hopes of finding a man who might actually have one of a small list of requirements (i.e. be able to actual speak a coherent phrase that does not automatically involve the concept of sex). While the average man on the app is doing sacrificial rituals in the hopes that someone will actually say hi to him.
So when this rather attractive woman smiles at me (in text of course), after I do my jig of joy causing the neighbors to bang on the wall, I take a look and think I actually recognize her.Now it might surprise a few of those who have been asked “Haven’t we met someplace before?” that occasionally it is asked because we honestly think that we have met you someplace before. Who’d a thunk? But seeing as this time the recognition was on a computer screen, and said attractive woman appeared to be from a part of the world I have only seen on a map, it was safe to assume that I had, in fact, NOT actually met her before.
Yet the feeling of recognition persisted.
Of course “Haven’t we met someplace before?” immediately pops into my mind. What can I say. Old habits die hard. But obviously that would not actually work here. So what to write. I have her attention, even if just for a second. Gotta make her want to stay for the show. Then it comes to me. Why I think I know her. So of course I need to ask. The fingers do their little dance on the keyboard, and voila:
“Haven’t we met on another app?”
Oddly, I have not heard back from her since.