Hitting reset … another stream of consciousness post

Despite my last post, I have still been struggling a little with that whole get out of bed concept. Reminders need to get from the head to the soul to be truly effective. Yesterday I did my best to actually do nothing … by intent. Not in avoidance, not out of boredom, but to simply BE for a day. By nothing I included not thinking (tough though that sounds). Ironically, the conscious act of being, and the determined effort NOT to think, often has the unusual effect of not only clarifying thought, but creating fresh outlooks. Or so it has always proven for me.

This morning, when I woke up, I felt no guilt for sleeping in. I simply got up when I was ready to get up. I did not kick myself for not having a specific plan of action for the day. I stopped worrying about what tomorrow holds; stopped wondering what I did wrong yesterday, and simply focused on what today offers.

Somewhere in the last couple of days  it dawned on me (again) that it is time I return to fundamental truths:

  • I can not be other than who I am.
  • Only I can choose who I am.
  • I can not create a better future until I create a better now.
  • The past is past.
  • Wishing is not doing.

None of these are new concepts. Especially for me. But for whatever reason I temporarily lost my belief in them. Possibly a necessary passage for me. Because doubt tempers. Passing through doubt to renewed belief strengthens that belief. Just like a healed broken bone is stronger than before it broke.

So what am I saying? This is no great epiphany. I have been allowing myself to be deafened by the cacophony again, when I should be embracing the silence. I have been blinded by staring at the sun, when I should be looking at what the sun shines upon. I am tasting the bitter, despite the fact that I prefer the sweet. My senses are out of alignment.

I needed to be reset.

With a simple act of creation, I am suddenly refreshed. I have a new grasp on the now, and suddenly find tomorrow to be back into the realm of attainable. Yesterday is still yesterday.

Suddenly I am excited.

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