Money troubles

I am not a fan of journalism. I don’t read newspapers, don’t watch the news, and as a general rule think magazines are a complete waste of paper. At least with fiction you KNOW it is fiction. That said this week’s 100 word challenge is more of a challenge than usual. But me being me I had to try anyway. So here goes. Of course I had to do it in the style of one of the few newspapers I actually respect, i.e. The Onion. Enjoy!

Euro meltdown fear

With the world economy as it is people are losing faith in banks and other financial institutions, resulting in many resorting to the old failsafe … keeping money in the mattress. Unfortunately recent events have proven that this is not a safe alternative either. The first confirmed case of the Euro bursting into flame was reported three weeks ago in a little village in Italy. Experts are unsure of the exact cause. It is believed that it is the result of radioactive elements in the ink used. Warnings are being issued worldwide suggesting limiting the number of bills kept together.