Archives

The nonsense that kept me up last night

RANDOM PERSON: Protect me from terrorists. GUMMINT: We need a way to identify terrorists. EMAIL PROVIDER: We use a ROBOT to search everyone’s emails so we can try to sell them things they don’t really need but MIGHT want. RANDOM PERSON: That’s cool! GUMMINT: Can you search for keywords that ... Read More

Soap box time!!

Let’s show those terrorists how strong we are! Let’s lock our doors and hide behind our guns, instead of helping those in need. It’s not that we are AFRAID, mind you, but it is safe to assume a tiny fraction of those refugees might actually be terrorists, so it is ... Read More

Gotta love this school!

Welcome to the Ultra Conservative School for Logic and Clarity! Our course selection will ensure you make it through the maze called life with the skill and sureness of a blind man! We have a wide variety of courses for you. Here are some of the most popular:   It’s someone else’s fault: This course ... Read More

Failed strategy?

In the last week I have been hard at work in my goal to become sleek and slim so I can take up the mantle of lord of all I purvey at some point. I decided on a new exercise strategy … since my last weigh in was an increase in poundage. I was so ... Read More

At long last …

Once upon a time, this basically lazy but somewhat creative guy came up with a crazy idea. He got sick of telling people he was unemployed when they asked what he did for a living, so he figured Author would be a much better way of saying it. To add some verisimilitude to this concept, he learned ... Read More

Irony and Synchronicity

The last time I moved back to the ‘rents house to “temporarily” recoup was roughly … 6 years ago. Since then, I have been living my hermit life  in what I affectionately call “the cave”. I had several considered reasons for this move, all of which made logical sense to me. I was broke and ... Read More

My favorite color is clear

It always amuses me when I actually have something I want to say; something I want to get out there … nobody really reads it. Or at least gives me any feedback. But when I post something that is totally meaningless and arbitrary, suddenly people are coming out of the woodwork and liking it. Of course ... Read More

I don't want to be WOWed.

When exactly did we start believing that bigger and fancier is always better? I had a little excursion to the mall today with my mother. That is always a traumatic experience for me (I am just not that into consumerism), but we planned on ending with a visit to The Cheesecake Factory, which sounded like it would make any general annoyance from ... Read More

Two attempts

I am once again caught in the inertia of my own lack of momentum, so I am having a creative lull. I always look forward to the 100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups because it tends to be the spark that lights the pilot light and gets my thought oven a cooking again (sorry for the ... Read More

I'll write you a check!

While I am far from a perfectionist, my work ethic comes right from the lazy man’s bible. There is basically one commandment: THOU SHALL WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER! and in the fine print below Get ‘er done! I am a firm believer of doing it right the first time. Of course this is a questionable business practice. How ... Read More