Making the whack’a’mole

Deciding what to write about today was made easier by the creation I am torturing the world with on my other blog. Food is on the mind, especially the kind of food that screams: "Festivities are to be had!!"

As payment for giving us a place to sleep, the hostess of the recent party weekend had us help prepare some of the yummies for the feast. There were a fair selection of all sorts of standard munchies to be had, such as dips that even the simplest of minds (points to self) can mix if the directions were clear enough.

Many a tasty was made, then a dark cloud appeared over the kitchen as that dip that causes fear in many, while worshiped by others appeared next on the list. I am never sure what to think of a food substance that is named after a silly fairground game of my youth.

I don’t know how I became the holder of the whack’a’mole recipe box, but I did. For the perfectionists among us the correct spelling is Guacamole, but that is not how I hear it! Fortunately someone else had the pleasure of pealing and de-pitting the avocados, which was fine by me. A slimier and more unappetizing fruit (?) does not exist that I am aware off, and I include over ripe … well … anything. In my mind, avocados are the tofu of the plant world.

The instructions were easy enough. Open the included spice packet and add several tablespoons of water, then let it sit for fifteen minutes. Of course there was no warning to have a proper gas mask present. First whiff of the spices had my mouth, nose and eyes running in different directions, which is not really a pleasant experience. Once the paste had set, one was to mash the avocados into it with a fork, and mix to the desired consistency.

Oh oh! A snag. For there was not a single soul in the kitchen who willingly ate guacamole, and the group shudder at the thought probably registered at the nearest geological testing station. But being the clever lad I am, I figured I would just make it look like the picture on the box.

Forking and mashing, doing my best to assure all slimy lumps were made into chip-able slimy lumps without actually getting any on my hands, I eventually managed to create something that was as appetizing as the picture on the box, namely to my mind not at all.

After braving the making, I figured I should probably test it so as not to give unwarranted disrespect to an innocent party dip.

I still have not gotten the taste out of my mouth!

The sad part is I did not actually witness anyone eating the dip, so I am not sure the scary adventure was worth it!