I used to be a funny person. Maybe I just used to have a sense of humor. Of course both sentences are a matter of perception, but I THINK others agreed with me (at least sometimes). However in the last few years, it has become apparent that humanity has gone off the deep end. To be more accurate, humanity has gone off the high board into the SHALLOW end … head first. My sense of humor has become more like a hysterical laugh to try to preserve what is left of my own sanity. Thus blogging humorous incidents seemed kind of a waste of effort.
A person can live a humorless, hysterical existence for only so long (especially a person who used to laugh at everything). So I made a decision to once again approach the world with my clown glasses on. The decision didn’t make me any more social or leave my cave more often … it just made my perpetual grimace more of a shady smile and I look up from the ground once in a while now.
Scene: Beautiful sunny day. Main camera is focused on a fairly busy intersection in a suburban neighborhood. Two cars are waiting at a red light. The camera is focused in the second car. I rocker looking dude in a sporty vehicle with the windows down is clearly enjoying the classic rock music he is playing. The radio is not blasting but loud enough to share with anyone in the vicinity. Suddenly Roy Orbison’s voice starts that that iconic song …
Pretty woman, walkin’ down the street
Pretty woman the kind I like to meet
Pretty woman I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
No one could look as good as you, mercy …
Cue sidewalk camera: in slow motion, to the rhythm of the music, the camera is focused on a dog with a leash walking up from the direction behind the car. The focus expands back to the dog walker, smile on the face, hair blowing back in the breeze with a slight head shake, enjoying the day, the walk and the general ambiance. The music is the only sound.
Right out of an 80’s movie, right!
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech! < that is the needle being pushed back on the record (to blatantly mix metaphors and probably confuse anyone younger than 40). The image is spot on except the dog walker was … you probably guessed it … ME. Everything described happened, EXCEPT I don’t actually have any hair and it is quite evident that I am NOT a pretty woman. I am pretty sure I am not a woman at all.
The slow motion part may be accurate.
This amusing(?) anecdote brought to you by a recovering grumpaholic. Hopefully it will bring a smile to someone’s day!