Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Why should I try to change a world that often seems dead set AGAINST change. Since I so often am at odds with how others think the world should be, maybe I am the one with the issues. Maybe it is me who needs to change, not the world. I mean if so many think I am nuts, or simply wrong, it stands to reason that I am … right?
Before the internet became the mainstream; before instant communication made the world a much smaller place, allowing for anyone to find anyone if they put a little effort in; before there became here with the flick of a switch … this kind of thinking made for a very difficult life. When we see the world differently than everyone around us, it becomes a very lonely place if we cannot find anyone to accept our vision. Then a few things might happen. We give up a major portion of ourselves, and become like everyone else … a sure passage to inner disquiet. We become angry at the world and keep our surety … that way lays terrorism. We maintain faith in our beliefs and manage to convince others that our wisdom is best … the risk of that is we might become arrogant and develop a god complex. Or we live life as we think it should be, and hope to find that others see the wisdom of our choices, or better yet find others with a similar mindset. That was the hardest choice to follow back in the day, and it often meant a very lonely and painful life.
For most of my life, I saw the human world as at the least very misguided, and in the worst case scenarios very selfish and stupid. And everyone just said “That’s the way it is, live with it,” or “You complain too much!” or other similar phrases. I tried to ‘become like everyone else’, and it nearly destroyed me. I tried anger, and the destruction almost became complete. Then I found a group of people who seemed to believe as I did, and embraced them fully. They brought me back from the brink, and then the god complex slipped in. For me a little. More so for the group itself. They seemed to lose track of the ‘bring the world together’ concept that first attracted me, and started saying “Follow us! Only WE can show you the way!” I did not want another religion.
Completely fed up with humanity at this point, and believing that either I was a complete fool or a hopeless idealist, I found myself a cave to both hide from the world and take a solid look at myself. I found that the core of me was firm, that my soul was very adamant. Humanity has shrouded itself in a cloud of selfishness and greed. If it did not clear the air it would suffocate itself. Maybe I am not the man to spread this word, but that does not deny the fact that it is true. So what was I going to do about it? At this point I went through a series of trials, including a failed relationship or two, a heart attack, the dissolution and loss of my father to Alzheimer’s, and the resultant near destitution of my parents. My cave had turned into a prison.
It might have been one the best things that could have happened to me.
I am here now. I still see humanity as needing to open its eyes before it walks blindly off a cliff. Thanks to the path I have followed, I now have some of the resources I need to help open eyes. With the aid of the information superhighway I also know I am not alone in my beliefs, nor in my goals. This project I have started is not completely different, even if it might have a slightly unique twist. But at the moment I am still doing it pretty much alone. That needs to change. I am no savior, no leader to guide people to a golden age. I am no great orator; not a wealthy philanthropist who can buy change; not a power wielding politician who can connive it. I am just a guy with open eyes whose heart and soul may be bigger than his abilities. A guy with an idea. I guy who needs help.
I have already encountered others who are pursuing similar ideas (such as Bloggers4Peace) who may be doing a better job with growing a community than me. To me that just reinforces that these ideas need to flourish. Maybe I am not the man to make it happen, maybe my specific form of the idea will fall flat. But I won’t know unless I try. And even if I fail, I now know that others are trying as well. If I can’t make it happen, then maybe they can.
So once again I ask humbly. Help me. Help Bloggers4Peace (#B4Peace on Twitter). Find another organization that you feel is the better bet. But don’t just admire. Don’t just like. Offer your hand. By helping anyone of us, you help yourself. You help humanity. You help heal the world. All it really takes is the decision to do it!