Politically correct Shakespeare

I have had a rough few days for several reasons, and find myself even more growly than usual. As a result I need to force some more plain silliness in my diet and shake the grumpies off. And, wallah, it turns out it is again time for The 100 Word Challenge for Grownups, providing just the seed I needed. This week the challenge is to create a recipe worthy of a witch. I borrowed a classic, manhandled and thoroughly mangled it, and came up with this bit o’ silly nonsense. Hope you all enjoy!

Being the age of dieting, we are going to make a happy and healthy witch’s brew. Follow these instructions and you will have some laughs and maybe even a tasty potion:


Half, half fun and many a laugh;
Calories burn, just do the math.

Fillet of a lean lean steak.
In the wok sizzle and shake;
Black eye of pea, and Dough of Prague,
Full of flavor, oh and pet the dog!
Use a fork, and try to sing,
Gizzards beg to taste this thing.
If yummy spices, you do double,
Might burn like hell and add some stubble.