Resume writing tips

There is nothing fun about looking for a job. Anyone who has ever had to do it can testify to this. Which basically means just about anyone who has ever HAD a job. However some are lucky enough to only have to do this once or twice in their lives, so they can quickly block out the nightmares from their memories.

""Unfortunately those like myself, nomads; souls who have no idea what they want to do when they grow up (or if they even WANT to grow up), will have had to go through the process quite frequently. Sadly it never gets easier. In my case, it does not help that I have absolutely no patience for bureaucracy, and a very irreverent nature. So when I go through the process it is always a major ordeal (especially for anyone who might be brave enough to want to help me!).

The hardest part for me is the resume. In my mind the resume is a collection of random lies designed to ensure that someone who actually has no real idea what the job you are applying for entails (i.e. the Human Resources person) think that you are in fact perfect for said job. There is an art to writing resumes. One has to choose the wording carefully to ensure it gets noticed. Especially these days when no human will actually ever see it until a computer gives it a digital thumbs up.

For example one would probably want to use "Particulate Transfer Engineer" instead of "I dusted sidewalks."

I have often found myself looking for jobs (and will soon need to start the process once again). There was a time when one did something as odd as look in the newspaper Want Ads, or actually hit the streets. Of course computers changed all that. Nowadays one posts their resume on a job search site, or maybe uses some other search method like Craig’s List. Not that the Newspaper ads are no longer available. It is just that they are a very limited resource now.

Using job search sites is another art. Because when one establishes the parameters of what job one actually wants, it is necessary to designate a "job title". A rather difficult proposition if one does not actually know what job they want.

In one of my more lengthy job search periods, I had a couple of resumes posted on a couple of major job sites. And though I believe they were decently written resumes, they did not generate many opportunities for me. Admittedly I sometimes got creative with my job titles. It is sad how few opportunities there are for "Human Beings".  "God" actually came up with several options. "Ruler of the Universe" not so much.

""One day I decided to try a little test. I went to (one of the premier job sites), and looked at their resume writing tips. They had a list of effective key words and phrases. I copied the list, and posted just that list as my new active resume on several sites. Nothing else to it. Just a list of words.

I hade maybe 6 employer views on my "real" resume after a matter of months. When I posted this "fake" resume, I had over 400 employer views in a matter of days. And a few years later I am still receiving offers from various organizations saying "We read your resume and think you would be perfect for such and such a job…"

I guess the real key to finding a job is being able to charm a robot.