That’s not Kosher!

"Porkchop has been banned from Brockton!" said mom.

Brushing the sleep from my eyes, I said "What are you talking about?"

She replied, "Brockton banned Porkchop."

Now that everything was much clearer, I said "What are you talking about?"

"Porkchop the pot-bellied pig …" she clarified.

Almost actually awake, I asked, "And who IS Porkchop the Pig? Should I know him?"

""I would like to say this is NOT a typical morning conversation in my house. I would really like to say that. Unfortunately that is a fairly common greeting. It has replaced odd phrases like "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" and such. But I digress.

The ‘rents have been getting two morning papers for time immemorial. The Boston Globe, which hails from … you guessed it … Boston. And then there is the more local rag called The Brockton Enterprise. For those who have never heard of Brockton (the MA city I grew up in incidentally), it has a reputation these days akin to Mordor in LOTR. If this reference stumps you, you are entirely too UN-geeky !

By this time the blood had finally reached my brain again and I realized she was referring to a news story. A story so big and horrific that not only did it get mentioned twice in the smaller Brockton Enterprise, but it made it to state (and possibly national fame) in The Boston Globe as well.

It seems Porkchop, a mild-mannered pet, of an equally mild-mannered Brocktonian (I am shamelessly making assumptions here now) … likes to wander. He likes to head out and check out the local neighborhood. Apparently the local Gestapo found Porkchop a dire threat and a menace (or the neighbors did), because they sent the net wielding soldiers to scoop him up several times. Finally the city officials said "Enough is enough! This vile evil scary demon pig must go!" (I am just guessing here again). So they went and exiled him from the city!

They said they were doing it because he was a safety hazard and in danger himself. I think that is total bigotry (or would that be pigotry?). I mean a dog or cat wanders around there might be a fine or a slap on the wrist, but they don’t get exiled!

Then again, maybe they are doing a kindness. With the recent bacon shortage, maybe Porkchop WAS in danger!