Frequently, when I go on one of my adventures in the area, I will end up eating lunch somewhere. The more vigorous the adventure, the more sure whatever I eat is likely to be unhealthy and calorie ridden. We wouldn’t want my exercise to actually take now would we? The wonders of self-justification!
Anyway the other day I went out and had myself a decent walk. This time I had actually set out with the intent of going to eat at a specific place. I wanted an ice cream sundae! But I forced myself to actually get a good sweat first, so I at least I appeared to earn the sundae. After wandering about for an hour, I ended up at the local Friendly’s. Not the ice cream place of old, now that like everyone else they branched out into food too, but still a good sundae to be had. So I actually got SOME benefit, I had a decent meal first. But of course while I was waiting for the meal I had to eye the ice cream menu.
As I open the menu, I get a whiff of … something foul. I look around, trying to identify what had died. Nothing obvious about. I check my shoes. No unexpected gifts. Yet the smell lingers. So running out of places to look, and still having sweat on my brow, I do a stealthy pit check. The foulness was not something typical of a human, but hey you never know. Thankfully it was not me. Thinking my uncommonly sensitive schnoz just picked up something on an errant breeze, I go back to perusing the delights of the ice cream menu. And the smell intensifies again.
It must have been quite the sight to see this odd man sitting alone sniffing first his shoes, then his arm pits, and finally the menu. But yes. The menu stank. Kind of atypical behavior for a menu.
Now I am thinking that my guilt has overwhelmed me, and is sneakily trying to convince me to stay away from the unnecessary desserts and be a good boy. I mean why else would the menu smell bad? But me being me, I kicked my guilt in the butt and sent if running, and just ratted out the naughty menu to my waitress.
Odor now missing, and thus no silly ideas present NOT to have my sundae, I enjoyed my meal and then ordered something decadent. Apparently my cowering guilt found its way to the waitress, or the menu DID in fact smell, because I ended up not having to pay for the dessert!
I wonder if that will work again?