I have several projects going on. Three blogs. Two books slowly being created. And as much as these are chances to communicate with the world again; to maybe even open an eye or three, I still am not actually living IN the world. And I am definitely not doing anything all that world-changing. For a little while I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity about this. Once I got that out of my system, I racked my brain looking for the next step, and as usual was looking so hard I could not find it.
So the past week or so I tried a little experiment. I purposely stopped TRYING. I stopped thinking; planning; questioning. I stopped worrying about what my future will hold; stopped looking for what I did wrong in the past. I stopped judging the usefulness of what I was doing now. I stopped being angry or sad about the state of the world. I did my best to simply BE and DO. The doing frequently a video game.
This is not the first time I have simply ignored the world, but usually it is due to avoidance, or depression, and while it may sometimes refresh it rarely changes anything. Especially since there was almost always guilt or self-condemnation involved afterwards. The difference this time is I simply accepted. Did not judge myself.
Just embraced the moment.
And guess what happened. A voice from my past suddenly contacted me, offering me the chance to participate in a new project. Not only is there income potential in this, but the very idea is something fresh … and ripe with the potential to change things. Beyond that, it is an opportunity to pursue an idea that I had before I hid in the cave, and idea that I shelved because I thought the world was not ready for it yet. Or maybe I was not ready for it yet.
What is the point of this rather long winded ramble? Nothing new actually if you have followed my blog. Just another reminder to myself of the simple tennet that sometimes the best way to find what you need is to stop looking for it.