I have been quiet for a while again. Guess I must have pulled my laugh organ. Or just did not encounter anything that tickled it for a bit. Fortunately, this morning I happened to pick up a newspaper, no doubt due to a slight attack of the crazies. I should probably do it more often because newspapers (and news in general) is second only to commercials to make me say WTF? It’s not so much that the news itself is funny (though that is often the case too), but more HOW they report it that always makes me chuckle.
I remember back when the concept of politically correct came into being. It is amazing how our very ability for speech in this country that is notable for its "freedom" of speech is completely governed by an oxymoron. As far as I am concerned there is nothing possible CORRECT about anything POLITICAL. That said, I love how we always fight for our freedom to express ourselves, and everyone agrees that such freedom is a must in our great nation … as long as we don’t offend anyone, say anything inappropriate for kids to hear (though they are more likely to understand some of these concepts better than us "adults" do), or pretty much say anything that someone else does not like.
I mean it is obvious that when a street sign says "Slow Children" it actually refers to the learning ability of the kids on the street in question, and not a sign suggesting that we drive slowly because there are children about. After all everyone knows street signs are there to insult the townsfolk right?
News reporters have mastered the art of sharing facts without claiming they are facts. After all they want to get the information across without being held liable for actually saying they know what they are talking about, or possibly be considered to have an opinion. Unless of course it is the opinion of whoever owns them, in which case say what you want. These days it seems to me that the most over (and mis) used word in the English language is the word alleged. In an effort to be sure we don’t find people of guilty of crimes before they have properly been tried, the news throws around the word alleged. Unfortunately, well-meaning as the intention is, they frequently use it in the wrong spot, so it just comes out funny as hell. "The alleged man who robbed the First National Bank of East Boondock" … unless they are actually questioning his gender it probably should be "the man who allegedly". Or my favorite, there is a video or photo of somebody doing something, clear for all to see. And the news will still say they allegedly did it. Just in case we all suffered a mass delusion at the same time and did not actually see what we all "know" we saw.
This morning what got me on this train of though was an article about something that happened to a man and his daughter. I won’t relate the specific event because it is actually very sad. But the thing that I found very humorous is they report the full name (including the middle initial), age and hometown of the man , and then say his daughter’s name is being withheld. So "John H. Smith, 44, of East Boondock and his daughter (we are not going to tell you her name so there)."
Apparently the news assumes a couple of things here:
- That nobody who actually knows John H. Smith, 44 of East Boondock has any clue what his daughter’s name is.
- Google does not exist.
What is it "they" say about good intentions? And lawyers (because it is really all their fault)?