Spring is in the air, which invariable causes two opposing reactions in Dichotomous Mister Steve. On the one hand, my lust for life is ignited, and I feel the thrill of possibility in every breath I take. Yet at the same time, this often seems to heighten the shadows I live in, and I also get a sense of fugue … of potential wasted. It does not help that we live in such an unstable time, when rightness and joy is precariously balanced on a very sharp edge, with chaos and panic on either side.
Add to this my general power for empathy, and I realize that others are feeling this same confusion: hope colored by fear. Some for very specific reasons, others made even more off-balance for not truly knowing WHY they are off-balance.
When I get in this split state, I often find my soul screaming to express itself, while the mind says “I am not catching it! What exactly do you want me to say?” So I end up in limbo for a few days, until clarity hits or the pressure is too much and I must attempt to express it somehow. I feel like a two-year old who has not yet learned the words, and thus acts out in the only way a two-year old knows how. I want to throw a tantrum.
Once upon a time, I would have just gone out a gotten crazy at a bar. And today is the ideal day for going out and getting crazy (What is crazy anyway?). It is Saint Patty’s Day after all. But it seems I am not longer that person. So I more sedately sit at a computer, and just type, hoping that whatever it is I am trying to say reveals itself.
We live in a time of supposed prophecy. I don’t really belief in the foretelling of the future. Just like religious dogma, whatever your beliefs in God or god and destiny or the lack thereof, the expression of those beliefs is dictated by humans, and thus colored by human perceptions and expectations. So even if one believes that some divine force has spoken though a human, the words still have passed through that human filter, so they are not pure.
But I also believe in the power of the human mind, and if enough humans truly believe in something, they can actually cause it to happen. Self fulfilling prophecy.
So what am I saying? Do I believe the world is now going to end? Not really. Not in the major cataclysm ending it all sense of things. But I do believe humanity is on the cusp of … something. We are at a major turning point for all of humanity, for the very world as we know it, and the choices we as humans now make will determine once and for all the health and prosperity of our future. We have reached a critical mass of humanity, and it is only moments before a nuclear event will occur (I am speaking metaphorically). But whether that nuclear event destroys us are sets us on a path of wonder is completely up to us.
And we are doing our best to completely waste the opportunity.
We are so focused on personal gain; on our versions of right and wrong; on comfort and ease; on control, that we completely ignore the bigger picture. And as a result we are letting the choice for a brighter future slip right out of our grasp, without even recognizing we actually HAVE the choice.
We as humans have all become magicians. We have mastered the art of distraction, to the point that we even distract ourselves and are fooled by our own illusions. And meanwhile reality withers way behind the illusion.
I feel that this time my soul is failing in its attempt to express itself, yet it is a step closer. Maybe this particular message is not for one person to relay, or maybe not so easily said in just a few words. Or maybe it is not my place at all.
I guess maybe this is more a plea then a message. A plea for humanity to open its own eyes and stop distracting itself. Let’s stop with the illusions and truly see what is there for a change. That is the path of hope.
Or maybe I am blinded by illusion myself.