momentous

mō-mĕn′təs

adjective

Of utmost importance; of outstanding significance or consequence.

From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition

A few days ago my morning started as it always does. I woke up because for various reasons my body decided it was time to wake up. On this particular morning my reaction to waking up was one of pleasant expectation. It varies depending on the quality of my sleep, the nature of my dreams, and the weather. The mood being appropriate, I set out doing the morning rituals with energy (not always the case). These rituals include getting my self started on the day’s journey and attending to Her Most Royal and Beloved Majesty, Brown Dog. Of course she has her own rituals as well. A quick(?) timeline of the morning:

• Wake up
• My ‘Behind closed doors’ stuff
• Bribe Brown Dog to take the medication she is currently taking
• Turn on the computer, and make sure all the tools I am likely to use during the day are current and functioning
• Stimulate my mind a bit (translation … play some games)
• Notice Her Majesty is demanding my attention, meaning it is time to give her a Dental Chew, one of the collection of goodies that qualify as Doggy Crack
• Enjoy watching the dance of pure pleasure Brown Dog performs when I give her said yummy
• Go back to what I was doing
• Notice Her Majesty is demanding my attention, meaning it is time to go out on the deck with Brown Dog so we can “meditate” together

And so the post actually begins …

I have seen the view to the left countless times. I have take hundreds of photos of that view …so many that I thought there was no point in taking any more.

EPIPHANY

Stillness does not exist. Every aspect of EVERYTHING is in constant motion. On a macrocosmic scale everything is constantly moving, even if from a local perspective it does not seem so. On a microcosmic scale the ‘stuff’ that everything is made of is always in motion. Stillness does not exist.

What follows from this is that we can never view something the exact same way twice. Thus a new photo would be a NEW photo. Our perceptions might not agree. And so we limit ourselves.

PERSONAL STAGNATION IS A STATE OF MIND

If everything seems stale and repetitive, that is because we choose to perceive it as so. But it can’t be. So we need to change our perception. How? Embrace the moment. I’ve said it before. The past is past, unalterable. The future is a shaping idea, not realized until its moment comes. THIS moment is the only real truth.

All of this hit me in a glorious moment of release. Suddenly all that went before was gone from my awareness, and the yet to be was … well … yet to be. I simply breathed in THIS moment, and it was pure bliss. Then I took out my phone/camera/whatever the hell it is and took a few NEW (new New nEw neW) pictures. The two above and a couple of Brown Dog’s

MOMENTOUS DECISION

Do I lie down?

Yes. I do.

The only thing that creates equivalence between THIS moment and THAT moment is that we will be inevitably faced with a choice. The choice may be to simply be or not. Or maybe it will be more involved than that. Every choice we make determines the qualities of the next moment. This ultimately means that

EPIPHANY GROWS

EVERY choice we make is the most important decision of the moment. In other words, it is a MOMENTOUS decision in the purist sense of the word. The very NEXT moment is determined by what happens in THIS moment. This is a basic fact of existence ( at least if we have a linear view of reality. It could be that all these moments happen simultaneously, but that does not really change what I am saying here).

SIMPLIFY

Embrace THIS moment. Make MOMENTOUS decisions. Find the inherent peace and joy of doing so.

Live a momentous life.

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To see me actually DO the push ups, click here.

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I am bringing my brag on because I did not realize how effective my efforts have been. Due to some local road work that promises to be eternal, during peak travel time traffic is rerouted to side streets … specifically the one that I usually find myself on during my tri-daily harvesting of dog poop. Being a nice, quiet domestic neighborhood, it practically screams, “Embrace your inner racing demon!” In the interest of public safety (or maybe just for personal record keeping) the wise powers that be … instead of actually speeding up the construction project, thus re-rerouting the traffic … has placed one of those signs that tells one how fast they are going. No doubt this sign will fill these speed demons with remorse so that they change their evil ways.

So there I am, walking at a leisurely pace (when not being dragged one way or another by Brown Dog), and I see this new addition to the street decor. It specifically catches my eye because it seems to be registering me. Walking. I glance over my shoulder, to make sure there is no car creeping along behind me, but no … B. D. and I are the only objects moving towards the sign. It kind of surprised me that the sign actually registered a walking pace. It even surprised me more that it told me I was walking at 8 miles an hour. I would have said it was a fluke, except it has happened every time I’ve walked by the sign now. It varies from 5 to 9 m. p. h., but seems to settle at 8 most often.

Apparently I have been vastly improving my fitness without even realizing it. Sure it is not inconceivable for a human to move at that pace. It is not even fast. But it does require actually … well … RUNNING. Not ambling along in glorious apathy. I can only explain my taking a half an hour to walk our average mile walk (2 m. p. h. by MY math) as my failure to adapt to the new math, because there is no way the technology would LIE to me.

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• Sunrise (or earlier) Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
• Sunrise + 1/2 hour Insist on playing with your human. Make sure you do it loudly and all over the house, so your human needs to chase you around. Maybe you will wake the other humans too so they can benefit. Don’t push to hard, let your human rest for a bit after this.
• Breakfast time Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
• After Breakfast  Every 10-15 minutes, insist on getting your human’s attention, no matter what they are doing. Make sure you are completely unclear on what it is you actually want, but don’t leave them alone until they follow you around trying to figure out what it is.
• Early afternoon Wake up your slothful human (if necessary). Make it evident how badly you need to go walkies. Prance around until your human has put their skin on and taken you out the door. Then be sure to tug your human at a pace that will pull them along. Once they match that pace, stop short frequently, being sure to put serious pressure on their shoulder sockets. How many times should you do this? There are a lot of factors. The crappier the weather, the more times you should do it. The more tired your human, the more times. In both those situations, make sure that it takes longer. This would be a good time to go if you actually have to go.
• Rest of the day Every 10-15 minutes, insist on getting your human’s attention, no matter what they are doing. Make sure you are completely unclear on what it is you actually want, but don’t leave them alone until they follow you around trying to figure out what it is.

Follow this routine, and in no time you will have a fit human you will be proud to have by your side in public.

*Hints for diet … to make sure your human is eating well, only eat what they eat. Don’t let the get away with giving you anything else. Be careful, they can be stubborn about this.

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How to make the most of a trying life …

• It never (rarely?) hurts to ask.
• If the answer is no … ask again.
• If the answer is still no … see previous tip.
• When all else fails, look cute.
• If the answer is still no, go to sleep.
• If you are hungry, it is time to eat. See first tip.
• If you have to go, you have to go. See first tip.
• When you are not eating, pooping or sleeping … PLAY!
• NOTHING is so urgent that you can’t stop and smell the flowers (and the air, and the grass, and the tree, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the … just smell anything worth smelling)!

It does not take much to live a happy life. Hopefully these tips will help those who have not gotten it yet.

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When to go:

• The best time to go is when your human is otherwise occupied (i.e. sleeping, working, watching t.v., eating, etc.)

General walking hints:

• If your human is foolish enough to let you out the door without that infernal leash on, immediately take off after an animal of your choice. If no such animal actually presents itself, take off after it anyway. How long it takes you to return is entirely up to you and how happy you are with your human at the moment.
• Make sure your energy level is the exact opposite of your human’s. If they seem in a hurry, walk slow. If the are casually walking, pull them, pull them HARD!
• If it is raining, snowing, or otherwise unpleasant, walk slow unless your human is, in which case look at the previous tip.
• If it smells good, use your magic dog skill to suddenly gain 200 lbs and firmly plant your feet.
• If they stop, keep going. If they want you to go somewhere, make sure you go anywhere but there.
• If you see a possible new friend (species does not matter), pull hard towards them.
• Sniff EVERYTHING.

When and where to go:

• Keep it random. Don’t let your human anticipate you.
• Sniff. If the location has the gall of not being peed or pooped on by anyone, go.
• If there seems some indication that one should not go there, go.
• If you have peed or pooped there before, go.
• If a friend peed or pooped there before, go.
• If a non-friend peed or pooped there before, go.
• If you feel like it, go.
• If your human insists, DON’T go.

Poop quality:

• Examine the terrain. If it will be easy for your human to scoop it up, or it is an area that it can be left, make the poop nice and firm. If it is in an area where others walk all the time, it would be difficult to scoop up, or it would cause your human embarrassment or other difficulties, make the poop soft and squishy.

I hope you all take these tips to heart, so that you can fully enjoy your waste removal experience.

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