At first, this gathering and shaping may be a mostly unconscious act, thus the people we believe ourselves to be are really a reflection of how others perceive us combined with how self aware we are. If we do not grow in self awareness, the shape that manifests will become more and more fixed as the gathering and shaping becomes defined by comfort. This form can be heavily influenced by others in our lives, as we develop habits that are the “norm” for the environment we are raised in. Eventually, the shape becomes rigid, and yesterday defines tomorrow. Essentially our now becomes an extension of the past, and the yet to be loses its newness. The future shifts from the free realm of possibility to the rather closed land of expectation.

For some, this is enough. This kind of living is safe; comfortable. No need to change what seems to work, even if others define the limits of life for us. We do not need to face fears, because we already know what to expect. No need to question; no need to seek alternatives that may shift our defined shape into something more pleasing and desirable for ourselves. I am comfortable with the way things are. If others are not, clearly they are not doing things right. If they just emulate my shape, they too will be comfortable.

This way leads to stagnation. Essentially, the future ceases to exist.

Life is DEFINED by change. A life affirming future REQUIRES change. But this can only happen by choice. If any part of us wants to improve our future, we must first step out of the past and learn to appreciate NOW. The past has happened. We cannot change that. But we CAN change how much we let it influence the shape of ourselves. Do we want to be a fixed piece, nothing more than a statue ultimately shaped by past efforts? Or do we want to be a constantly evolving work of art, growing in strength and beauty, returning the yet to be to one of surprise and wonder?

Living now allows this to happen. CHOOSING how we live TODAY means the past does not decide today OR tomorrow. Now decides tomorrow. And tomorrow we get to choose again. This is how we return the future to the realm of possibility.

Appreciate the past. Learn from the past. But let the past go and live now. Choose who we are today and tomorrow we have created a new past to appreciate and learn from. In the process, we open up the possibilities for tomorrow. The future become an ongoing choice based on now, instead of a forgone conclusion based on yesterday.

Choose your future.

The post Choose your future first appeared on thrumyeyes.

That particular concept means nothing to me. I never thought of January 1st as being the beginning of anything other than an arbitrary month in a calendar made by man. To me the new year does not start until spring. Winter is the end of the cycle.

Yet this supposed beginning has been ingrained in our social consciousness for a couple of thousand years now, so I can’t just ignore it completely. When I was younger it was just another excuse to party. Those who embrace the idea of this being a beginning will talk about setting new goals and starting new paths. Often talk is as far as they get. Or some will jump into their new direction with focus and energy, but after a short period the realities of life and the difficulties of change will kick in, and everything reverts to the way it was before. Some may succeed in creating the change they seek.

The process is different for everyone.

I used to toy with the concept of New Year’s resolutions, but they never really stuck for me. My difficulty is that I am too now oriented. I am not really goal driven. This is not to say that I do no seek to improve myself, or change those aspects of self that no longer serve the path I am on. Rather it a choice of the moment. I don’t think in terms of “this year”. My focus is “this moment in time” which might extend as far as “today”.

Recently my energy has been on the negative side. Much is happening in my life and the world at large that does not resonate with me … or at least the me that I want to be. It is so easy to blame this negativity on outside events, because frankly humanity is on the cusp of a momentous decision on the ultimate path our communal soul will follow. But the reality is a negative reaction to what is going on outside us is a choice … even if not always a conscious one. The rest of the world is going to do what the rest of the world is going to do. WE can only change our own choices, which include how we react to what the rest of the world is doing. The is a fundamental truth.

It is also a truth that is easy to forget.

Every moment has the potential to start fresh. If the path we are on is not working for us, change direction. It is truly the choice of a moment. In practical terms, this might be a little more of a challenge. Changing direction mid-step could have unintended consequences. However, we are built in such a way that we reset every morning. Thus EVERY day is an opportunity for a fresh start.

So instead of a New Year’s resolution, I am setting a New Day’s resolution. Today’s resolution was inspired by the rising sun. For no matter how bad things may seem. the sun continues to rise every morning, even if we cannot always see it.

This morning it was quite visible to me.

The post A fresh start first appeared on thrumyeyes.

“Huh?” is not an unreasonable response.

Just do it. Don’t worry about art. Get yourself a piece of paper (which itself might be a challenge for some in this digital age) and draw yourself a rabbit hole. Make it big enough to put some words in.

Done? Great. Look at your rabbit hole and write down the first thing that pops in your mind. Maybe it’s a word, maybe its a phrase. Don’t think too much, just let it appear.

And so an adventure begins …

My rabbit hole

The path I followed:

• The word ‘asteroids’ randomly appears in my mind.
• “What a funny sounding word,” I think. Immediate perverse mind connection: Asteroids -> hemorrhoids
• “Shouldn’t ‘hem’ be ‘ass’?” I think. Shake my head in bemusement at my own thought processes.
• Look up the etymology of ‘asteroid’ …
  aster = star
• Look up the meaning of ‘hem’ There are a couple of meanings. The one that gets my attention:
  hem = restrict
• Restrict -> lock -> hemlock
• Bring back aster. Asterlock. No. Starlock.
• Search ‘starlock’.
• Turns out ‘Starlock’ is a brand of power tools.
• Search for videos about power tools …
  How to’s. A song. Kids with Power tools. CRAZY adults with power tools.
• Humans with power tools -> human power tools -> human power ->

Self empowerment

Deep in MY rabbit hole I found the concept of self empowerment, and that is where I stopped. Sometimes, the best way to get where you want to go is to head nowhere in particular. This is a particularly strong theme in my life and one I have often explored before.

Where does YOUR rabbit hole take YOU?

The post Empowered by a rabbit hole first appeared on thrumyeyes.

The combined result is the ME I am today. This ME often has me double taking when I look in the mirror. This ME has me wondering not only about what is next, but what WAS that led me to be … well … ME. In one sense I have not changed much at all. I have simply shed layers of illusions that “defined” the me that I thought I was, leaving me closer to the ME that I AM.

One of the changes has been a loss in interest in many activities that (I thought) used to define me. Among these was the blogging I embraced for a while. I kept my many blogs alive, but only in a “plugged into respirator” sense of alive. Three years ago I was going to restart this project along with others related to it. It seems I am just getting around to it now.

I am starting over with all of these ideas. I am incorporating what was, but shaping things differently, and approaching everything with a new perspective. This site is no longer anything more then me reintroducing myself to … you guessed it … ME.

As with the last time I restarted this site, I am announcing it with a new logo. Actually the whole site is a complete makeover. Only fitting, since the same applies to ME. I do not know if anyone will actually visit this site. I do not even know if I will maintain any continuous presence here one I am done with the current makeover. But in this moment I want and need to write this post. And so a new journey begins.

The post Maybe I should re-re-introduce myself first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Your inner voice is the voice of divinity. To hear it, we need to be in solitude, even in crowded places.

Whether a decision is potentially life altering, or as simple as what one’s favorite color is, everyone has an answer for you. And all to often, they will express that answer, even if you did not ask the question. Too many people have this need for their voice to be heard … no matter what it may say. They will gladly whisper; shout; sing; cry or simply say exactly what your choices should be. It does not matter that you did not seek their advice, they will share it anyway. It has become even easier in this age of digital communications. Someone does not even have to be physically near you for their voice to be heard. There are sometimes so many voices intent on being heard that one cannot hear any single one.

Cacophony reigns.

So how do we know which voices to listen to, and which to ignore? How do we know what choices to make when there are often so many voiced? Those who have he greatest influence in our lives will also have the loudest voices. We may even hear them speaking to us in our own thoughts; voices inside our head, directing, questioning.

How do we silence the cacophony?

Don’t worry, there are many voices willing to answer that question as well. For the moment lets focus on MY voice, the one speaking right now. I make no claim to special wisdom. Nor do I claim to be right or wrong. But I will offer an answer that works for me; and answer that to me seems wise and right, and maybe in this one instance my voice is the one to hear.

It seems to me that there is in truth only ONE voice that we all need to heed. There is only one voice that has the answers to life’s questions relevant to each of us. This voice knows the choices we each need to make; even the questions we each need to ask. We would find many of life’s trials so much easier if we simply listened to this one voice.

Unfortunately, the cacophony is such that many of us can’t even hear it.

Which voice is this? It is the still, small voice within each of us. It always knows the right thing to say, and will answer any question that may arise, if we can simply learn to hear it. That is the challenge we all face. We must learn to reach beyond all the other voices, no matter how much attention they demand of us, and simply listen to that quiet, peaceful voice of reason within. Call it the voice of the soul; call it instinct; call it the voice of divinity. However we view it, it is there for each of us. It is the voice we hear when all else is silent around us. It is the voice that sings to us when we feel joy; the voice that comforts us when we feel sorrow. It is the voice we hear when we slip into that realm between sleep and wakefulness. It is the voice that resonates deep within.

Still the cacophony. Find your inner voice. That way lies true peace.

The post Voices first appeared on thrumyeyes.

A weary old stranger. “Who are you, you’re not me?!”

I looked once again, expecting to find,

The me I remember; the me in my mind.

The reflection just stared back, tired and worn,

A face shaped by sorrow, sad and forlorn.

“Something is wrong here. This is not right!

This stranger before me has lost all his fight!”

I looked at this stranger, straight in the eye.

“Why have you given up? Again I ask why?”

The bleak eyes looked back, with barely a glimmer.

But deep in the shadows, was that a shimmer?

The tiniest of glows; a spark; a mere ember.

I knew this to be the me I remember.

“If I am you,”. I thought, “You’re not me.

Not the me that I WANT to be!”

I smiled a flat smile, and laughed a bit hollow.

The smile grew, and a real laugh did follow.

“You are me, I am you, we are one and the same.

But if you feel defeated, time to change the game!”

That tiny spark; that ember, it began to glow.

A warm feeling in my belly started to grow.

“Oh mirror stranger, you deceived me well!

But now I have realized that you are naught but a shell!”

The moral of this tale, be it strange but true:

No matter what life throws at you, YOU will always be YOU.

The post You first appeared on thrumyeyes.

EVERYTHING changes.

The hows and what’s of the change will be determined by the rules of nature. Sometimes the change may seem chaotic, but it always has definable patterns. When the patterns are cyclical and contain a regenerative aspect, then we might call the thing that is changing alive. As these cyclical patterns become more and more complicated, the inherent “life” becomes more evident, until what seems alive becomes actual life. Living things are constantly changing. Some of that change removes what is not longer productive to the life form, some of it replaces, and even improves upon, those aspects that give the organism life. Cells die, cells are replaced, cells grow. Waste is removed, useful resources are replenished, the cycle continues and life goes on. When these patterns work in an ideal fashion, we consider the life healthy. The further from the ideal, the further from health.

Not only is change  INEVITABLE, it is NECESSARY.

Enter consciousness. Awareness. This phenomenon is what truly makes life unique. The processes of life do their best to find balance, as energy does, and will slowly adjust as needed. But add awareness to the mix and suddenly the rules themselves start changing. With awareness comes the ability to choose. Choice can both enhance and interfere with the processes that define life. The higher the level of awareness, the greater the possibility to enhance … and interfere … with the effectiveness of these processes. In other words, the ability to choose can directly influence health.

The human species is currently the dominant species on our planet, and (questionably) the most aware. Our level of awareness and ability to make choices not only has a direct impact on our own health, but that of ALL the life we interact with. Humans can influence the health of the cultural groups we are part of; we can impact the ecosystems we inhabit; we can truly affect the planet we live on. This ultimately means we need to be very careful about the choices we make, even if seemingly only for ourselves.

Awareness is a powerful ally for positive change, but as with any useful tool, it can also be detrimental to healthy choices. We will often choose that which gives us comfort over that which is actually beneficial to us. We will often choose pleasure over discomfort. We will choose ease over effort. Our awareness is itself malleable, meaning we can even choose to shape our own awareness. So how do we ensure we work in our own best interest?

This is the ultimate challenge we all face, even if our own awareness is not enough to even recognize the challenge. We make choices constantly, sometimes without even realizing we are doing it. Each of these choices has an effect on our well-being, our overall health, again even if we are not fully aware of it. My personal journey has been about not only learning to make the right choices, but to shape my level of awareness in such a way that the choices come readily. Sometimes, this journey has not been so easy (recent months have been very difficult). This blog has always been about sharing my journey, and maybe help others in their own. I have been quiet of late because my personal rough spot. I intended today to end my silence on another topic altogether, but it seems I have stepped onto the path of a new level of awareness, and my sharing will be a multi-step process as well. This was a necessary step, both for my own journey and the sharing of it.

Change is inevitable. Even when we don’t choose it to happen (or even expect it). The first step to working with change is to accept this simple fact. That is today’s’ lesson for myself. Next lesson … letting go.

The post Change and choice … Awareness 101 first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Having a clear idea of how we want something to appear is the first step to creating a reality for that something. It is essentially setting a goal. With the proper tools and effort, ANY goal can become what we imagine, or WANT, it to be. Success often depends on how clear our vision of our goal is, for with clarity our sense of purpose and our drive to reach our goal are reinforced.

One major tool of branding is a logo. A logo is essentially an emblematic representation of the core aspects of whatever it is one is branding. It is symbolic, but hopefully memorable, thus creating a trigger for recognition. Even though this site is far from a business, its purpose is better defined by some form of branding, in this case a logo.

I have a log for all of my web projects, each indicating both the intent of the project and the aspects of myself that go into it … in some cases the aspects of myself that I intend to grow. The logo for this site is one such. I just changed the existing logo, and felt that explaining the design might be of use, both to myself and any others who find interest in my journey here. First the logo (the old version and the new) …

These images represent both the core philosophy behind my search for wellness, and the path I am taking to achieve said wellness. Throughout this project I have indicated that I believe in a holistic view of health. True growth requires we work on ALL aspects of ourselves … the physical, the emotional, and the spiritual. All of these aspects interact with each other, and wellness is finding the proper balance between these facets.

The pyramid shape represents the ideal proportionality. A strong base is necessary to keep stability, but it is also the easiest to reach … this is the physical. To reach the peak of wellness yet maintain this stability, we need to put energy into the middle … the emotional … but not too much or too little, for it risks the whole structure collapsing. Finally we find completion with a well focused point … our spiritual self … the hardest to reach. The height of this point is potentially limitless, but when constrained to the rest of the structure it is kept grounded while completing the pyramid.

The images within the pyramid each are also emblematic representations. Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man represents the great potential of the human animal. For me, it specifically calls to our physicality and our passion. The Yin Yang symbol is a well-known representation of the search for spiritual balance. Thus they reinforce the whole symbolism of the pyramid.

The process involved with creating this logo is itself a direct representation of my whole wellness journey. It started with a concept; an image of what I wanted. My first attempt fell shy of the goal. It was not a bad effort, but it was limited by the tools and skills available to me at the time of creation. Since then I have continued along my journey … improving my abilities as well as learning new ones. The tools available to me have also changed in the process. The new image is much closer to what I first envisioned, made possible by my continuing along my path. Who knows how the image may change in the future?

For me this logo well represents both my view of life and the path I am following as I live it. It also shows that everything is multi-faceted. The branding that I say I find so distasteful has positive benefits if used well.  The image we choose to portray CAN become the reality if we work at making it so. The key is to believe in that image ourselves, and not just using it as a means to an end. If we all removed the hypocrisy from our lives, and actually become what we SEEM, or WANT, to be  … how would our lives change? Would the very character of the world change as well?

The post A new logo first appeared on thrumyeyes.

However, good habits need to be established first. Beyond that, sometimes life has other plans, and no matter how good our intentions we cannot manage to so easily do what is needed to keep our ideal level of wellness. When this is the case, it is up to us to do what we need to get back on track. This is when effort becomes more of a challenge. This is when we are tempted to fall back into bad habits, or worse, find excuses to NOT push on, because it seems so much easier. In the short run it may even BE easier. But ultimately we will see that we benefit more from continued effort.

So how do we avoid excuses? The simple answer is: Don’t make them. Unfortunately, we may be making excuses without even realizing it. Avoiding excuses first requires RECOGNIZING them.  And there lies the true challenge for some. This particular challenge is one I personally face all too often. These are some of the tricks I have learned that keep excuses at bay:

• KNOW LIMITS – If we push past our limits, we will find our effort to be beyond us. This can easily become a reason not to continue. Instead of giving up, just lower our effort to what we can do.  If we do not overshoot, our limits will grow.
• LEARN PATIENCE – This goes hand in hand with understanding limits. Like it or not, sometimes achieving our goals will not happen as fast as we would like. Without patience we might constantly push too far beyond those limits, ultimately giving ourselves the excuse of constant failure. Allowing ourselves to succeed in smaller doses may take longer … but we WILL continue.
• UNDERSTAND THAT LIFE HAPPENS – No matter how much we think we have control over our lives, some things are beyond our control. This is a simple fact of life. Whether it be due to some ailment that befalls us, or because circumstances interfere with our efforts, sometimes we simply cannot proceed as planned. This can easily become an excuse to not try again. Don’t give up. Adapt.
• BE FLEXIBLE – This is really a summation of the previous three points. When we find things don’t quite work in one way, try another. It could mean no trying as hard, or maybe changing our schedule. I could mean finding alternative methods. If we lock ourselves to a certain path, a blockage on the path becomes an easy excuse not to continue. Just find a detour, or a new path altogether.
• FOCUS ON WHAT WE CAN DO – This may be the most important point. If we keep encountering reasons that we CANNOT do something, we stand in our own way. Focus on what we CAN do, and we will continually make forward progress. We will also find that the CANNOTS become a smaller and smaller list.

Whatever paths we find ourselves on as we journey through life, how (or even IF) we proceed along them is determined by our own choices. We will encounter obstacles, but how we respond to those obstacles is also our choice.  We can let the obstacles become an excuse to give up, or we can find a way to continue DESPITE such excuses. Only by continuing will we find our destinations. Beware excuses!

The post Beware excuses! first appeared on thrumyeyes.

I have not written anything in weeks. For that matter, I have really done nothing creative at all in weeks. No that is not quite it either. I have not LIVED at all in weeks.

I am (have been but no more?) simply existing.

The only activity that I have participated in with any regularity is questioning myself. I have been hitting myself relentlessly with ALL the hard questions: Who am I? What am I? WHY am I?

When and where were the only questions that required no thought.

To say I have been despondent would make despondent a cheerful child. Dark thoughts have been my primary companions, the kind of dark thoughts that have medical and law enforcement professionals worried. Not that these thoughts meant anything. They were simply me fighting off a spiritual infection. Healing means accepting that often things will get worse before they get better. So what has changed? Am I all  cupcakes and roses now? ⇐ Me being creative  The simple answer is my attitude. The stew that I have been cooking still has all the same ingredients … I am just determined to make it taste good now.

“Tell me what has been troubling you!” no one with any sense will be saying right now. Fortunately No One (with or without sense) is exactly who I actually EXPECT to read this, so I will a tell on. Enter a LIST:

• LIFE HAS NO MEANING … this is not a cry of despair (anymore) but rather an epiphany. We all want everything to make some sort of sense, and use every trick in the book to make that happen. And when we fail miserably (if we in fact fail miserably) we are … well … miserable. My simple yet profound realization (one I keep having and then forgetting), is the ONLY meaning to our lives is that which we CREATE FOR OURSELVES. I’ll blame the weather for my forgetting this simple truth yet again.
• THE ‘BAD’ GUY ALWAYS WINS … I am a firm believer in compassion. The one problem with being a compassionate soul is we actually have lines we won’t cross. Unfortunately, this means that anyone who has no such restriction will inevitably use us as floor mats. We can express ideas such as “Good will always win in the end” and such, but the demonstrable reality is, frankly, quite the opposite. Just look at the state of human society. This is not me saying we might as well give up on compassion and embrace the dark side. Just a recognition that until ALL of humanity embraces compassion things will not readily change.
• EXPECTATIONS … I keep getting trapped by what is ‘supposed’ to happen, which is a concept that does not have any basis in reality (see my first list item) other than in the mind. The worse expectations that I keep failing to meet are those expectations that I expect others expect of me. Ironically, those are the only expectations that anyone can truly have (other than our own expectations of ourselves, which are heavily influenced by those expectations that we expect others expect of us). Thus meeting these self-created yet ultimately meaningless expectations can be a rather difficult task. Worse is getting caught up in the supposed failure of meeting said mystical creatures. The answer is to just remove the expectations from the picture. Then there is no failure to fret about.

My list is rather short, but it really covers the gist of my interior battle. I could break it out into a huge ‘ailment’ list, but No One would be even less likely to read THAT and such a list would really serve no purpose. Simply put, darkness comes and goes … even the happiest of people will occasional be visited by shadows. We can either choose to let the darkness take over, or we can find that inner spark that resides within each of us and do what is necessary to build a fire. Fuel the spark; fan the flame, and before you know it the darkness is pushed back by a roaring bonfire.

Often the hard part is CHOOSING to build the fire in the first place.

The post Found some kindling first appeared on thrumyeyes.