I am in a rather weird place lately. Not so much my physical location. That has not changed and is no more weird (or not weird) then it ever was. I live in purgatory (a.k.a. suburbia) so not much changes here. Not much actually happens here for that matter. If one wishes to find signs of life in purgatory, one has to look. And even then it is often tough to find.
What has me in my odd mood is the fact that I am not sure what it is I truly seek. What AM I looking for?
Wisdom? Wisdom is like air. It is always there to be found except in a vacuum. We do not really need to look for it, but we do need to keep it pure and breathable. Keep pollutants out and simply breath, and we will find all the wisdom we need.
Happiness? Happiness is not a tangible thing to be found somewhere. It is a state of mind that can only be achieved by choice. We cannot look for happiness because it not something to be found. It is something that we create.
Hope? Hope is light in darkness. But what happens when the darkness is complete and no source of light is to be found? Does that mean there is no hope, even if we look for it? Well that is the funny thing about hope. It can only be found if we actually look for it. Maybe there is no light in the darkness. So look for sound instead. As long as the senses are alive there is hope. I understand this, so don’t really need to look for it. Even when sitting in darkness.
Beauty? Beauty is simply there. It does not need to be looked for. Just recognized. It is all in how we choose to perceive things.
Love? Love is something we are innately born with. It is not something we need to learn or seek. It is simply part of us. The challenge is that as we grow into the world, we start learning how to mask it; how to hide it from ourselves. We need not look for it because we already have it. We just need to shake of all the camouflage to find it.
It suddenly dawns on me that the reason I can’t figure out what I am looking for is because I actually already have all I need. Maybe it is time to stop looking FOR something new, and simply focus on looking AT what I already have.