Anyway I am actually proud of myself today. I sat down and managed to put some work into BOTH books. Between the two tales, I managed to pump out almost 3600 words, which is a fairly decent effort methinks. Especially since I am still basically making it up as I go along.
So what changed?
Basically I stopped all my fretting over why bother. Or whether or not anyone does or will read my stuff or look at my creations. I got sucked into the whole popularity issue of blogging and writing, and was making myself miserable because it is basically so senseless to me, and yet really not worth me worrying about. I lost the whole point of why I started blogging, or writing my books in the first place. I had nothing to do with becoming famous, or rich. It was simply about the act of creation, and not hiding what I am creating. For years I wrote, took photographs, and dabbled in other forms of creation, and not a soul ever actually saw them. I started recognizing that maybe I have a modicum of talent, and even of the world does not fall in love with what I create one or two folk might enjoy it.
But only if they can see it.
So I will continue to post posts because I have something to say. Or something to share. And if no one sees it then no one sees it. At least I know it is not because I hid it from them.
And I will continue to write my books until the stories are told. Because these stories are demanding to be told and I am the tool they have chosen to do the telling. Even if I never actually manage to publish them, or make money out of them, the stories need to be written. If even one person reads them and gets something from them then it was well worth the effort.
I have regained the now. And will do my best to to hold onto it. I will make no promises that tomorrow I will do this or that with regards to the book. Or anything else for that matter.
All I can promise is I will continue to create NOW!