“Settle down people! I know this is exciting, but we need to get started. I am glad so many PEOPLE have joined us to hear the plan for our new great Godly nation. So let us begin! “

The tumultuous crowd settled a bit, consolidating there excited focus on The Speaker instead of each other.

“This is the preamble: We The People …”

With those words, the energy level jumped again. Many voices exclaimed in excitement at the same time. A few caught the orator’s attention, causing him to pause and look around.

Woman: “Ooooh this is so exciting!“
Person of color: “I can’t wait for this!”
Poor person: “Things are going to change for the better now!”

“Just a moment please!” Summoning an assistant, The Speaker whispered, “who let the livestock in? They should be removed immediately! This is not for them!”

The assistant immediately signaled to roughs and toughs at the various entrances, indicating that said undesirables should be removed instantly. The rest of the crowd looked on with quite a few nods of approval mixed with laughter. Shortly the only faces to be seen were wealthy elder Caucasian gentleman and their various collections of correctly pigmented male sycophants and thugs.

One of the guardian thugs approached. “Sir, there is an acceptable looking foreign gentleman at the door who wishes to join, should we let him in? He is here with his pregnant wife.”

“If he fills out the proper paperwork and has money, he may join us. If he has lots of money, then the paperwork is optional. His wife, of course, cannot, but her unborn child is welcome too.”

A short, rather unpleasant tussle later …

“Let me begin again. We the People, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense …”

At this point, several more voices were raised, again causing The Speaker to pause. “Is there a problem gentlemen?” he asked with mild annoyance.

“We have something to say about that!” one man proclaimed with heat, and many applauded, the loudest being the roughs and toughs.

The Speaker nodded. Looking around at the sea of patriarchal arrogant whiteness before him he said, “Of course! Everyone HERE has the right to say whatever they desire. That is part of the new plan!”

His assistant cleared his throat. “Um sir, we haven’t actually included that in the document.”

The Speaker looked nonplussed for the moment. then he said, “A mere oversight. we expected there might be a few changes as suggested by the PEOPLE before us. We’ll just call this the first amendment.” Scribbling a note on a piece of paper, he continued, “So sir, what is it you wanted to say?”

“With regards to the common defense, I think we all need guns …”

AND SO BEGAN A JOURNEY INTO THE ABSURD.

The post A more perfect union? first appeared on thrumyeyes.

What does your happiness look like?

The last couple weeks have been downright enlightening for me.

Let me back up even more. I have been struggling (again?) for a while now. Nothing new to someone who has way to much time on their hands to simply think. My current (constant?) dilemma is finding (creating?) a meaning for my life … or more accurately for life in general. It is by no means a new or original thought, but I firmly believe life has no specific meaning. Much of humanity cannot grasp or accept this thought, so we create explanations that give us comfort and ease the fear such randomness generates. We create cosmic scapegoats called gods. We assign polarity to everything and call it good vs evil, then make ourselves feel important by assuming we are on the “right” side of this faux polarity. And all too many of us let OTHERS decide what determines good vs evil in the first place, giving up our own capacity for self determination.

This type of thinking has resulted in the world we live in today. A world being shattered by divisiveness and fear, often in the name of a purpose assigned by SOMEONE ELSE. And too many of us don’t even know what it is we actually seek. What IS our purpose after all? Why are we even here? Many of us avoid the question altogether (at least on a conscious level). It is so much easier not to even ask. That guy over there has a compelling answer. I’ll just go with that one.

For a long time now it has been clear to me that the each and every one of us is nothing more than a minuscule collection of energy in the mysterious vastness we call the universe. On a cosmic level, we leave no discernible impact. Those choices we struggle with at any given moment really mean nothing in this immensity. We are nothing but a infinitesimal spark in an ongoing infinite energetic explosion. In other words, our lives really have no meaning. At least a meaning we are capable of understanding.

I am not preaching nihilism here. In fact it is quite the opposite. Since to me there is no set meaning, it is evidently up to each of us to make our own. We each need to decide what we will choose to value, and how we can bring that value to life in a way that allows us to embrace our existence.

This has been my struggle. I lost track of what I value. I have simply been going through the motions, wondering why I bother at all. It all seemed so pointless that I really just craved oblivion. I am not saying I sought death. Just wanted off the ride. It was fun while it lasted, but I am done with it now. This lack of inertia had me not getting enough sleep and simply not really taking care of myself. Then memorial day weekend came and I sought further escape. Let it all go. Have some meaningless fun and just enjoy. That food was good. The couple of beers hit just right. That hit was a deep one. yes it will all go away …

And suddenly I faced an epiphany driven choice …

I (WE) am the creator of my own reality. This is a simple fact. If I (WE) do not like the current reality, just change it. Also a simple fact. So my choice was do I just give up altogether and fade away? Or come back to the reality I (WE) choose. I chose to come back …

… and ended up in the emergency room. Which opened the door for a new journey of self … discovery? … no … CREATION. Ultimately leading to a profound question that stopped me in my tracks for I never placed it before myself in exactly this way.

What does your happiness look like?

At first I really did not know how to answer. I looked deep, and said this:

I don’t know the answer to that question. Happiness is an ever flowing river to me. Refreshing, but never the same twice.
It is not a fixed thing. that is why I can’t answer the question. Many different situations might result in me feeling “happy” and every one of them could be a different experience generating different feelings within me. There is no single definition.
Happiness is this mystical being that everyone seems to think they seek, when it is simply there to be recognized. If you insist on a definition, it is the absence of negative feelings. That’s the best I can do.

Me

For some their search is for happiness, not meaning (if they have a search at all). To me happiness is just part of the whole. We are defined by a spectrum of emotions. I view it as a sphere of emotional energy. Each emotions just represents an area on the surface; each is countered by its opposite on the other side. If we seek only one part of the sphere, we are cheating ourselves of completion. So I do not seek happiness. I seek the center. Once I can find that and hold there, I will truly encounter the me that I am. And I will be complete.

If you are still here, thanks for staying. I know this was a long one. I have shared a little of MY truth. Now I give you an opportunity to explore your own, and maybe even get a little closer to it. So tell me ….

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPINESS LOOK LIKE?

The post What does your happiness look like? first appeared on thrumyeyes.

The answer has always eluded me.

Am I the me others perceive based on their own experiences and expectations?

But I am also other.

Step back; forget what was; let go of expectation.

Be the observer.

Ask again.

Who am I?

I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning.

With a blinding flash it dawned on me that I have been asking the wrong question.

I should be asking, “Who do you want to be?”

I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning.

Him. I want to be him.

The post I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning first appeared on thrumyeyes.

I am ending at the beginning.

This is the cyclical nature of the mysterious thing we call life. Nothing ever truly ends. It just transitions. And while from our own small perspective, we might see a beginning and an end, we are just continuing a story that may have no ending … or beginning. The vastness of existence is not really an uncountable number of stories. It is rather ONE story with uncountable chapters in it. Each of us represents the smallest part of that story. I am not sure we even qualify as a chapter. We are more like a few sentences from an (extremely) small section of a chapter.

Even as I call this an ending I am about to begin another word in the few sentences that are me. I do not even know yet what that word may be, for all too often the word does not become apparent until it manifests. Thus I will not know what I have begun until I have finished. I might be able to choose a letter or two, but even that is not guaranteed. I end, I begin, I begin, I end. Sometimes I end before I begin, and there are also those times that I begin before I end. The whirlwind of letters forms into words, becoming sentences that help move the story along. But those few sentences will really give little information about the Grand Story; it’s only a few sentences after all.

The odd thing about this Grand Story (maybe one of the odd things would be more accurate) is that many sentences are being written, and read, at the same time. Thus whole chapters of the Story might appear to be one garbled sentence, or even a simple word. Maybe even a letter. Part of the joy of being in this story is learning how to read it. There is also joy in learning how to write our part of it, especially if we all manage to write our sentences into a harmonious whole.

I am about to end this little ramble on endings and beginnings. Whether this is truly an ending or a beginning is really a matter of perspective. Maybe it is really the middle. But for this moment in time I do know what letter I am working with. Here’s to the letter A.

THE END.

or

THE BEGINNING.

The post A beginning in An end first appeared on thrumyeyes.

… ENERGY.

Lo and behold, irony gives me my E post.

Energy is, quite literally, what makes the universe go round. It is the basis of … well … everything. All that we perceive started as energy, and will eventually return to being energy, even if a different form. The very act of perceiving requires energy. Energy is the substance of interactions between living beings. For that matter, it is the substance of interactions between non living entities as well.  Face it, without energy, time does not pass, and existence simply ceases.

Energy takes many forms, some of them more clearly defined than others. It is the central focus of scientific study. Physics and chemistry are essentially the study of energy in all its forms. Biology explores those forms of energy we call life. Even social sciences are about energy, for communications are also a form of energy. Our emotional relationships; our social hierarchy; even our personal psychology … all are forms of energy exchange.

Based on all this, it would appear that having a lack of energy is a rather a serious matter.

Of course what is meant by the phrase “lack of energy” is completely a matter of the specifics of the situation. Not to worry, put a little energy into thinking about it, and the phrase will make perfect sense. Even as I write this little rambling ode to energy, energy is pouring forth. There is the energy used to think my thoughts; the energy used in typing; the energy that converts and stores the ideas on my machine; the energy that sends it across the world is a flash; the energy of others reading and understanding … the list is endless. One can even sense my mood by the energy that seeps into the words themselves. And once more some irony: even as the energy of forming ideas that are being shared here starts to dwindle, my personal energy has risen. Just in time to go to bed of course.

So ends my E post. rather energetically, it seem.

The post Energy first appeared on thrumyeyes.

It was a rainysunny day, making it all worth while. Fortunately, it was

not too hot,  or too cold. or maybe it was. Amy entered his apartment. She could not wait to get in the shower. The phone ringing interrupted the television show.

“Is this Joe?” asked the voice on the other end.

Still wet from the shower, Jessica answered sharply, “Who else would be answering my phone?!”

“We NEED YOU BACK AT the hospital within the hour!”
“I’ll be there in ten,” he grumbled.

After a good night’s rest, Jessica was back at the school bright and early.

I will continue this later when I have a better idea for the story!.

THE END

The post Indecisive first appeared on thrumyeyes.

There are oh so many aspects of our social culture that I could discuss with this concept in mind, but in honor of the letter Q (for my Z to A challenge) I am going to focus specifically on the idea of quality vs quantity. Essentially, in our society we are trained from birth that more is better. We give social superiority to those who have more “things”, while those who “own” the least become pariah. To me, this is utter nonsense. I find it a completely selfish way at looking at the world. Yet our whole social structure, our economy, even our morality is entirely based on this construct. It has become so prevalent that we measure everything by quantity, often forgetting that quality is even an issue. The whole idea of social networking is designed around the number of followers one has, despite the fact that the only connection with these followers maybe a specific line of thought and the app used. Marketing targets as many people as it can, with the hope that given enough viewers, a few will buy into the mind games, making it all worthwhile.

We are even trained to believe that we must continuously increase the population, yet we lack the resource management to deal with the population we already have. We measure the health of our economy by the number of jobs available, seeing continuous population growth as a way of increasing the workforce, when many of those jobs only exist because we so measure the economy and we already have more people than jobs. We are convinced we need to constantly have new versions of things, without providing a way to get rid of all the “old” perfectly functional things. We have so many choices to make that choosing itself becomes an issue of mental health. All this because “more is better”.

Now I am not going to claim that quantity is NEVER preferable. There are many instances when the more of something the better the situation. But to me, in the most important issues we face in life, taking the time and effort to obtain quality is more satisfying and efficient than having a constantly growing number of ineffective solutions. Don’t repeatedly duck tape when fixing it right once will do the trick. Don’t buy poorly made products over and over when a well made one will last a long time. Don’t pursue thousands of “friends” who really offer us nothing when one close companionship can provide all that we need. Having lots of money; followers; fame; children; moral limits; years; things does NOT make one a better person. Nor does it make one a worse person. Having a quality life is dependent on HOW we live, not HOW MUCH we have. Live well, treat others well, and we are living a good life. This is true whether we have a lot of whatever or nothing at all.

At least this is true in MY view of the world.

The post Quality vs Quantity first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Sorry, Steve shall stop for a second. Steve’s stringent sidekick seeks some of Steve’s spotlight. She sometimes slows Steve from striding with speed. She has strong sentiments for a steady supply of sportiveness. Such is a standard stake when someone serves a special someone, second someone sporting several shanks. Should Steve shout “Sit!” she seldom seems to stay seated. She is a surpassingly spirited soul. Should Steve scorn her, she will surely stress Steve until Steve surrenders.

Spell of sports all set and sidekick satisfied, Steve sits to sustain a supply of sentences. Stable scribbles should shun sudden stops. Send-offs should still be satisfactory, silly or sane the subject. Sadly, (some would say shrewdly) Steve seems to be slacking in the siring of seminal speculation. Steve should surely stop while the stopping is sensible, to stave off being stormed by a sullen swarm.

Superior short but sweet selection (says Steve) sent to some by the sign S

The post Silliness first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Your inner voice is the voice of divinity. To hear it, we need to be in solitude, even in crowded places.

Whether a decision is potentially life altering, or as simple as what one’s favorite color is, everyone has an answer for you. And all to often, they will express that answer, even if you did not ask the question. Too many people have this need for their voice to be heard … no matter what it may say. They will gladly whisper; shout; sing; cry or simply say exactly what your choices should be. It does not matter that you did not seek their advice, they will share it anyway. It has become even easier in this age of digital communications. Someone does not even have to be physically near you for their voice to be heard. There are sometimes so many voices intent on being heard that one cannot hear any single one.

Cacophony reigns.

So how do we know which voices to listen to, and which to ignore? How do we know what choices to make when there are often so many voiced? Those who have he greatest influence in our lives will also have the loudest voices. We may even hear them speaking to us in our own thoughts; voices inside our head, directing, questioning.

How do we silence the cacophony?

Don’t worry, there are many voices willing to answer that question as well. For the moment lets focus on MY voice, the one speaking right now. I make no claim to special wisdom. Nor do I claim to be right or wrong. But I will offer an answer that works for me; and answer that to me seems wise and right, and maybe in this one instance my voice is the one to hear.

It seems to me that there is in truth only ONE voice that we all need to heed. There is only one voice that has the answers to life’s questions relevant to each of us. This voice knows the choices we each need to make; even the questions we each need to ask. We would find many of life’s trials so much easier if we simply listened to this one voice.

Unfortunately, the cacophony is such that many of us can’t even hear it.

Which voice is this? It is the still, small voice within each of us. It always knows the right thing to say, and will answer any question that may arise, if we can simply learn to hear it. That is the challenge we all face. We must learn to reach beyond all the other voices, no matter how much attention they demand of us, and simply listen to that quiet, peaceful voice of reason within. Call it the voice of the soul; call it instinct; call it the voice of divinity. However we view it, it is there for each of us. It is the voice we hear when all else is silent around us. It is the voice that sings to us when we feel joy; the voice that comforts us when we feel sorrow. It is the voice we hear when we slip into that realm between sleep and wakefulness. It is the voice that resonates deep within.

Still the cacophony. Find your inner voice. That way lies true peace.

The post Voices first appeared on thrumyeyes.

I have not written anything in months. For that matter, I have not done much of anything in months. There are many reasons for this. I could write a quite a few words on this subject alone. But I won’t, because  … well … who would wanna read that? Show of hands? Even MY hand is not raised.

The least wordy reason for my lack of participation in life is I have misplaced my purpose.

“What,” you are no doubt not really even thinking of asking, “do you mean by that?” Just your luck, I am going to tell you.

I don’t believe in destiny. I don’t believe that there is some sort of cosmic H. R. department that assigns us our life duties, with all sorts of hell to pay if we stray from our assigned path. I also don’t believe that there is some grand meaning to existence that keeps just out of our reach just for the sheer pleasure of torturing us (or teaching us if you’re more of an optimist) that its creator receives.

Purpose and meaning are things we need to create for ourselves.

And I seem to have run out of ideas. No, that’s not quite it. I have plenty of ideas. I just ran out of a good reason to pursue any of those ideas. Thus I have stopped living, like so many others in our society. The Zombie Apocalypse is actually already here. All to many of us simply go through the motions of life, without really showing any proof that we are LIVING it. We somnambulate, searching for brains to eat, many not even realizing that this particular food source is in rare supply these days.

Not only is this a REALLY depressing way to (not) live, it is extremely BORING.

Now that spring is pretending to appear in my part of the world (it has the same precision of scheduling that the average cable company has), and I’m acknowledging that I am not getting any younger, I have decided to shift gears and once again create a purpose. The main difficulty with this decision (one that I often make I might add) is determining which of my over-abundance of ideas has any chance of being even reasonably considered an obtainable goal, and then figuring out if I have what is needed to obtain said goal. Once I have accepted that I probably do not, then I will have to figure out how to find; get; create what I need, and start the whole cycle of life over for my silly self.

This is generally not a simple process.

So, considering how much time I have on my hands, the fact that today is April Fool’s Day (a prime day for ANY fool to start afresh), the influx of emails reminding me of the A to Z challenge that helped me enter the blogging world, and the sheer boredom that threatens to complete my zombification, I decided last night mere hours before last call that I would attempt to participate in this year’s challenge. Thus here I am, rambling on with no clear purpose of words or intent, starting another new journey.

“Why,” you are still probably not really asking, “have you started with Z?” Another of my beliefs is that the passage of time really has no beginning or end. When we claim to start or finish something, we are really just continuing along our journey, setting reference points along the way to keep us believing we actually have some control over the journey. Following “traditional” paths has rarely gotten me anywhere I wanted to be, so I switch it up a bit, to see if that will make a difference. I still usually don’t end up where I think I want to be, but at least the ride will be an interesting one. Who knows? Maybe doing things “backwards” is just what I need this time around.

Onward to A.

The post Z end in Z beginning first appeared on thrumyeyes.