“Settle down people! I know this is exciting, but we need to get started. I am glad so many PEOPLE have joined us to hear the plan for our new great Godly nation. So let us begin! “

The tumultuous crowd settled a bit, consolidating there excited focus on The Speaker instead of each other.

“This is the preamble: We The People …”

With those words, the energy level jumped again. Many voices exclaimed in excitement at the same time. A few caught the orator’s attention, causing him to pause and look around.

Woman: “Ooooh this is so exciting!“
Person of color: “I can’t wait for this!”
Poor person: “Things are going to change for the better now!”

“Just a moment please!” Summoning an assistant, The Speaker whispered, “who let the livestock in? They should be removed immediately! This is not for them!”

The assistant immediately signaled to roughs and toughs at the various entrances, indicating that said undesirables should be removed instantly. The rest of the crowd looked on with quite a few nods of approval mixed with laughter. Shortly the only faces to be seen were wealthy elder Caucasian gentleman and their various collections of correctly pigmented male sycophants and thugs.

One of the guardian thugs approached. “Sir, there is an acceptable looking foreign gentleman at the door who wishes to join, should we let him in? He is here with his pregnant wife.”

“If he fills out the proper paperwork and has money, he may join us. If he has lots of money, then the paperwork is optional. His wife, of course, cannot, but her unborn child is welcome too.”

A short, rather unpleasant tussle later …

“Let me begin again. We the People, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense …”

At this point, several more voices were raised, again causing The Speaker to pause. “Is there a problem gentlemen?” he asked with mild annoyance.

“We have something to say about that!” one man proclaimed with heat, and many applauded, the loudest being the roughs and toughs.

The Speaker nodded. Looking around at the sea of patriarchal arrogant whiteness before him he said, “Of course! Everyone HERE has the right to say whatever they desire. That is part of the new plan!”

His assistant cleared his throat. “Um sir, we haven’t actually included that in the document.”

The Speaker looked nonplussed for the moment. then he said, “A mere oversight. we expected there might be a few changes as suggested by the PEOPLE before us. We’ll just call this the first amendment.” Scribbling a note on a piece of paper, he continued, “So sir, what is it you wanted to say?”

“With regards to the common defense, I think we all need guns …”

AND SO BEGAN A JOURNEY INTO THE ABSURD.

The post A more perfect union? first appeared on thrumyeyes.

What does your happiness look like?

The last couple weeks have been downright enlightening for me.

Let me back up even more. I have been struggling (again?) for a while now. Nothing new to someone who has way to much time on their hands to simply think. My current (constant?) dilemma is finding (creating?) a meaning for my life … or more accurately for life in general. It is by no means a new or original thought, but I firmly believe life has no specific meaning. Much of humanity cannot grasp or accept this thought, so we create explanations that give us comfort and ease the fear such randomness generates. We create cosmic scapegoats called gods. We assign polarity to everything and call it good vs evil, then make ourselves feel important by assuming we are on the “right” side of this faux polarity. And all too many of us let OTHERS decide what determines good vs evil in the first place, giving up our own capacity for self determination.

This type of thinking has resulted in the world we live in today. A world being shattered by divisiveness and fear, often in the name of a purpose assigned by SOMEONE ELSE. And too many of us don’t even know what it is we actually seek. What IS our purpose after all? Why are we even here? Many of us avoid the question altogether (at least on a conscious level). It is so much easier not to even ask. That guy over there has a compelling answer. I’ll just go with that one.

For a long time now it has been clear to me that the each and every one of us is nothing more than a minuscule collection of energy in the mysterious vastness we call the universe. On a cosmic level, we leave no discernible impact. Those choices we struggle with at any given moment really mean nothing in this immensity. We are nothing but a infinitesimal spark in an ongoing infinite energetic explosion. In other words, our lives really have no meaning. At least a meaning we are capable of understanding.

I am not preaching nihilism here. In fact it is quite the opposite. Since to me there is no set meaning, it is evidently up to each of us to make our own. We each need to decide what we will choose to value, and how we can bring that value to life in a way that allows us to embrace our existence.

This has been my struggle. I lost track of what I value. I have simply been going through the motions, wondering why I bother at all. It all seemed so pointless that I really just craved oblivion. I am not saying I sought death. Just wanted off the ride. It was fun while it lasted, but I am done with it now. This lack of inertia had me not getting enough sleep and simply not really taking care of myself. Then memorial day weekend came and I sought further escape. Let it all go. Have some meaningless fun and just enjoy. That food was good. The couple of beers hit just right. That hit was a deep one. yes it will all go away …

And suddenly I faced an epiphany driven choice …

I (WE) am the creator of my own reality. This is a simple fact. If I (WE) do not like the current reality, just change it. Also a simple fact. So my choice was do I just give up altogether and fade away? Or come back to the reality I (WE) choose. I chose to come back …

… and ended up in the emergency room. Which opened the door for a new journey of self … discovery? … no … CREATION. Ultimately leading to a profound question that stopped me in my tracks for I never placed it before myself in exactly this way.

What does your happiness look like?

At first I really did not know how to answer. I looked deep, and said this:

I don’t know the answer to that question. Happiness is an ever flowing river to me. Refreshing, but never the same twice.
It is not a fixed thing. that is why I can’t answer the question. Many different situations might result in me feeling “happy” and every one of them could be a different experience generating different feelings within me. There is no single definition.
Happiness is this mystical being that everyone seems to think they seek, when it is simply there to be recognized. If you insist on a definition, it is the absence of negative feelings. That’s the best I can do.

Me

For some their search is for happiness, not meaning (if they have a search at all). To me happiness is just part of the whole. We are defined by a spectrum of emotions. I view it as a sphere of emotional energy. Each emotions just represents an area on the surface; each is countered by its opposite on the other side. If we seek only one part of the sphere, we are cheating ourselves of completion. So I do not seek happiness. I seek the center. Once I can find that and hold there, I will truly encounter the me that I am. And I will be complete.

If you are still here, thanks for staying. I know this was a long one. I have shared a little of MY truth. Now I give you an opportunity to explore your own, and maybe even get a little closer to it. So tell me ….

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPINESS LOOK LIKE?

The post What does your happiness look like? first appeared on thrumyeyes.

The answer has always eluded me.

Am I the me others perceive based on their own experiences and expectations?

But I am also other.

Step back; forget what was; let go of expectation.

Be the observer.

Ask again.

Who am I?

I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning.

With a blinding flash it dawned on me that I have been asking the wrong question.

I should be asking, “Who do you want to be?”

I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning.

Him. I want to be him.

The post I caught myself smiling for no reason this morning first appeared on thrumyeyes.

At first, this gathering and shaping may be a mostly unconscious act, thus the people we believe ourselves to be are really a reflection of how others perceive us combined with how self aware we are. If we do not grow in self awareness, the shape that manifests will become more and more fixed as the gathering and shaping becomes defined by comfort. This form can be heavily influenced by others in our lives, as we develop habits that are the “norm” for the environment we are raised in. Eventually, the shape becomes rigid, and yesterday defines tomorrow. Essentially our now becomes an extension of the past, and the yet to be loses its newness. The future shifts from the free realm of possibility to the rather closed land of expectation.

For some, this is enough. This kind of living is safe; comfortable. No need to change what seems to work, even if others define the limits of life for us. We do not need to face fears, because we already know what to expect. No need to question; no need to seek alternatives that may shift our defined shape into something more pleasing and desirable for ourselves. I am comfortable with the way things are. If others are not, clearly they are not doing things right. If they just emulate my shape, they too will be comfortable.

This way leads to stagnation. Essentially, the future ceases to exist.

Life is DEFINED by change. A life affirming future REQUIRES change. But this can only happen by choice. If any part of us wants to improve our future, we must first step out of the past and learn to appreciate NOW. The past has happened. We cannot change that. But we CAN change how much we let it influence the shape of ourselves. Do we want to be a fixed piece, nothing more than a statue ultimately shaped by past efforts? Or do we want to be a constantly evolving work of art, growing in strength and beauty, returning the yet to be to one of surprise and wonder?

Living now allows this to happen. CHOOSING how we live TODAY means the past does not decide today OR tomorrow. Now decides tomorrow. And tomorrow we get to choose again. This is how we return the future to the realm of possibility.

Appreciate the past. Learn from the past. But let the past go and live now. Choose who we are today and tomorrow we have created a new past to appreciate and learn from. In the process, we open up the possibilities for tomorrow. The future become an ongoing choice based on now, instead of a forgone conclusion based on yesterday.

Choose your future.

The post Choose your future first appeared on thrumyeyes.

That particular concept means nothing to me. I never thought of January 1st as being the beginning of anything other than an arbitrary month in a calendar made by man. To me the new year does not start until spring. Winter is the end of the cycle.

Yet this supposed beginning has been ingrained in our social consciousness for a couple of thousand years now, so I can’t just ignore it completely. When I was younger it was just another excuse to party. Those who embrace the idea of this being a beginning will talk about setting new goals and starting new paths. Often talk is as far as they get. Or some will jump into their new direction with focus and energy, but after a short period the realities of life and the difficulties of change will kick in, and everything reverts to the way it was before. Some may succeed in creating the change they seek.

The process is different for everyone.

I used to toy with the concept of New Year’s resolutions, but they never really stuck for me. My difficulty is that I am too now oriented. I am not really goal driven. This is not to say that I do no seek to improve myself, or change those aspects of self that no longer serve the path I am on. Rather it a choice of the moment. I don’t think in terms of “this year”. My focus is “this moment in time” which might extend as far as “today”.

Recently my energy has been on the negative side. Much is happening in my life and the world at large that does not resonate with me … or at least the me that I want to be. It is so easy to blame this negativity on outside events, because frankly humanity is on the cusp of a momentous decision on the ultimate path our communal soul will follow. But the reality is a negative reaction to what is going on outside us is a choice … even if not always a conscious one. The rest of the world is going to do what the rest of the world is going to do. WE can only change our own choices, which include how we react to what the rest of the world is doing. The is a fundamental truth.

It is also a truth that is easy to forget.

Every moment has the potential to start fresh. If the path we are on is not working for us, change direction. It is truly the choice of a moment. In practical terms, this might be a little more of a challenge. Changing direction mid-step could have unintended consequences. However, we are built in such a way that we reset every morning. Thus EVERY day is an opportunity for a fresh start.

So instead of a New Year’s resolution, I am setting a New Day’s resolution. Today’s resolution was inspired by the rising sun. For no matter how bad things may seem. the sun continues to rise every morning, even if we cannot always see it.

This morning it was quite visible to me.

The post A fresh start first appeared on thrumyeyes.

“Huh?” is not an unreasonable response.

Just do it. Don’t worry about art. Get yourself a piece of paper (which itself might be a challenge for some in this digital age) and draw yourself a rabbit hole. Make it big enough to put some words in.

Done? Great. Look at your rabbit hole and write down the first thing that pops in your mind. Maybe it’s a word, maybe its a phrase. Don’t think too much, just let it appear.

And so an adventure begins …

My rabbit hole

The path I followed:

• The word ‘asteroids’ randomly appears in my mind.
• “What a funny sounding word,” I think. Immediate perverse mind connection: Asteroids -> hemorrhoids
• “Shouldn’t ‘hem’ be ‘ass’?” I think. Shake my head in bemusement at my own thought processes.
• Look up the etymology of ‘asteroid’ …
  aster = star
• Look up the meaning of ‘hem’ There are a couple of meanings. The one that gets my attention:
  hem = restrict
• Restrict -> lock -> hemlock
• Bring back aster. Asterlock. No. Starlock.
• Search ‘starlock’.
• Turns out ‘Starlock’ is a brand of power tools.
• Search for videos about power tools …
  How to’s. A song. Kids with Power tools. CRAZY adults with power tools.
• Humans with power tools -> human power tools -> human power ->

Self empowerment

Deep in MY rabbit hole I found the concept of self empowerment, and that is where I stopped. Sometimes, the best way to get where you want to go is to head nowhere in particular. This is a particularly strong theme in my life and one I have often explored before.

Where does YOUR rabbit hole take YOU?

The post Empowered by a rabbit hole first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Perhaps I have it backwards, I am living the life I should,
to allow all these other mes to be the mes they would.

Perhaps my dreams are alternate mes, the mes of other choices;
the dreams piercing the veil that separates me from my other voices.

Does the powerless me, the purposeless me, the me that has grown resigned,
allow the Freedom Fighter me to pursue the future that I seek to find?

Or maybe the sad me, the confused me, the me that despairs for humanity,
allows the vibrant, optimistic me help others return to sanity?

Are there many mes in a multiverse greatly varied and wide,
with me the counterbalance here on the other side?

And the biggest question I have of the mes I so often see,
“Do the rest of you, my other selves, also dream of me?”

The post Alternity first appeared on thrumyeyes.

Change is essential to our perception of reality.

I have never expressed the idea in quite that way, but this is a concept I often share. Change provides the contrast that allows us to differentiate between now and then. It provides a template for our understanding of improvement (or its lack). Without change, we cannot truly learn … or even understand … ANYTHING, simply because the very act of learning and understanding IS change. Change is inherent in the very definitions of time; life; existence … basically all the core concepts that define reality.

Without change, everything simply stops.

Recently, I have found myself exploring both extremes I mentioned above. I have both been denying much that is changing around me; WITHIN me. I have also been fighting against it. Both are not norms for me, but that in itself is one of the changes I face. Where once I thrived on frequent change, I now see more clearly the value of a certain level of constancy as well. I look back at my life, much of it shared by means of my creative endeavors, and I both see how much I have changed, and how much I have NOT. The very world around me has drastically changed even as it remains the same. Part of that is the essence of change itself, part of that is my perceptions of the world change as I do. Thus I become more and more human, yet never felt so distant from the rest of humanity.

And only I can change ANY of that.

Taking part in the challenge this year has reminded me of all that I have just rambled on about. I needed to remember that change is inevitable. I also needed the reminder that I have very much input in what changes FOR ME, and what does not. For that matter, I am the ONLY one who can choose those changes for myself. By abdicating from life, I am giving away this fundamental right and essentially casting myself adrift in the flow of time. In many ways, I am the same me I was as a child … I just understand THAT me so much better now. In other ways, I have grown so far beyond that child that I no longer recognize him in me. This is neither right nor wrong … just the way things are. I recognize the “flaws” in me that have shaped my path through life. More importantly, I recognize that they are only “flaws” if I choose to see them as flaws. I am, and always will be, me and the only change that I require of myself it to let myself be the best me I can be.

So the very short answer to the questions I posed: I would not change anything. I would continue to be me, which itself is a constantly changing concept, and allow me to take me where I will go. For no matter how much we might change, we are still we. It is like the flow of water in a river. The water is ever changing, but the river remains a river. And even if that river dries up to be a mere creek, or disappears entirely, the river that was is still the river that was. I will be the me that is, even as I am still the me that was. I will continue to create because being a creator is how I have defined myself. Whether or not the rest of the universe even notices my contribution is immaterial, because I was, I am, and I will be for a bit longer, and this simple reality is one that is immune to change.

I have no idea what to expect from the future. I cannot bemoan the loss of the past, because it is not lost. I can only continue to create my present. The rest will fall in place on its own.

The above image is a digital expression of what I have just written. It is my own creation, emulating the wonder that is inherent in nature. It is far from perfect, yet still has its own beauty. The me that was has become the me that is through learning the skills necessary to make this image, and I will continue to learn and change into the me that will be (with future creation). The image well portrays changelessly changing, in the form of flowing water. Thus I change as I remain the same

The post Reflections and (in?) a bit of digital art … first appeared on thrumyeyes.

I am ending at the beginning.

This is the cyclical nature of the mysterious thing we call life. Nothing ever truly ends. It just transitions. And while from our own small perspective, we might see a beginning and an end, we are just continuing a story that may have no ending … or beginning. The vastness of existence is not really an uncountable number of stories. It is rather ONE story with uncountable chapters in it. Each of us represents the smallest part of that story. I am not sure we even qualify as a chapter. We are more like a few sentences from an (extremely) small section of a chapter.

Even as I call this an ending I am about to begin another word in the few sentences that are me. I do not even know yet what that word may be, for all too often the word does not become apparent until it manifests. Thus I will not know what I have begun until I have finished. I might be able to choose a letter or two, but even that is not guaranteed. I end, I begin, I begin, I end. Sometimes I end before I begin, and there are also those times that I begin before I end. The whirlwind of letters forms into words, becoming sentences that help move the story along. But those few sentences will really give little information about the Grand Story; it’s only a few sentences after all.

The odd thing about this Grand Story (maybe one of the odd things would be more accurate) is that many sentences are being written, and read, at the same time. Thus whole chapters of the Story might appear to be one garbled sentence, or even a simple word. Maybe even a letter. Part of the joy of being in this story is learning how to read it. There is also joy in learning how to write our part of it, especially if we all manage to write our sentences into a harmonious whole.

I am about to end this little ramble on endings and beginnings. Whether this is truly an ending or a beginning is really a matter of perspective. Maybe it is really the middle. But for this moment in time I do know what letter I am working with. Here’s to the letter A.

THE END.

or

THE BEGINNING.

The post A beginning in An end first appeared on thrumyeyes.

… ENERGY.

Lo and behold, irony gives me my E post.

Energy is, quite literally, what makes the universe go round. It is the basis of … well … everything. All that we perceive started as energy, and will eventually return to being energy, even if a different form. The very act of perceiving requires energy. Energy is the substance of interactions between living beings. For that matter, it is the substance of interactions between non living entities as well.  Face it, without energy, time does not pass, and existence simply ceases.

Energy takes many forms, some of them more clearly defined than others. It is the central focus of scientific study. Physics and chemistry are essentially the study of energy in all its forms. Biology explores those forms of energy we call life. Even social sciences are about energy, for communications are also a form of energy. Our emotional relationships; our social hierarchy; even our personal psychology … all are forms of energy exchange.

Based on all this, it would appear that having a lack of energy is a rather a serious matter.

Of course what is meant by the phrase “lack of energy” is completely a matter of the specifics of the situation. Not to worry, put a little energy into thinking about it, and the phrase will make perfect sense. Even as I write this little rambling ode to energy, energy is pouring forth. There is the energy used to think my thoughts; the energy used in typing; the energy that converts and stores the ideas on my machine; the energy that sends it across the world is a flash; the energy of others reading and understanding … the list is endless. One can even sense my mood by the energy that seeps into the words themselves. And once more some irony: even as the energy of forming ideas that are being shared here starts to dwindle, my personal energy has risen. Just in time to go to bed of course.

So ends my E post. rather energetically, it seem.

The post Energy first appeared on thrumyeyes.